Category Archives: Choices

When The New Wears Off

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shutterstock_153587168We’ve all had times when we get something “new” in life.  Maybe it’s a new car or house.  Maybe it’s a new job or hobby.  Maybe it’s a new relationship.  Whatever it is, there’s nothing like the newness that comes with certain types of changes.  Even the support we receive from those around us has a different feel when it is new.  But time has a way of making us all complacent.  We get used to the things we have or the people in our lives and then find ourselves missing that “new smell” of the things with which we have been blessed.  Yep…the truth is the new always wears off.  The question is, “What do we do when it happens?”

New things or people energize us.  New circumstances excite us.  New challenges inspire (or test) us.  No matter what the effect, the result is that things are NOT boring.  There is a higher level of activity, even if it is only internally.  I think of things I have done over the course of my life and each one brought great amounts of pleasure and intensity in the beginning.  I have been excited as I jumped into creative projects or endeavors at work.  It’s interesting how people are drawn to newness.  The excitement (or stress) of things in my life has drawn others to jump in with me at times.  There is something about being in the same boat with someone who is inspired and filled with passion.  But after a while, the same things that once excited or interested others begins to fade, and they seem to wander on to the next exciting thing.  When that happens, I must remember that the newness of me or my world has simply faded for them.  It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it just means they’ve grown accustomed to it all.  I cannot allow the actions of others to dictate my passions.  I cannot and will not allow the complacency of others to determine whether or not I will continue to unleash my creativity or give 100% to the areas in which I have responsibilities.  But what about when the newness wears off not just for them, but for ME?

shutterstock_145922459Life is an exciting adventure overall, but that doesn’t mean every single moment will be filled with exciting circumstances.  Living richly from day-to-day requires something deeper than that “new car smell!”  For example, if you sold your car every time the new smell dissipated, you’d be changing cars every couple of months (if not sooner).  It just isn’t feasible to do that for most people.  If you quit your job every time you had a bad day, you’d eventually run out of new places to work.  Even our relationships have ebbs and flows and sometimes we start longing for the excitement of a new connection.  There is something beautiful about new things.  Newness reminds us of life and how amazing it can be.  New things are clean and shiny.  They smell good.  They feel good.  New relationships awaken all our senses and we feel alive!  It is natural and great to experience these sensations, but when our life begins to revolve around them, we have lost sight of what it means to live with a richness that is elusive to so many.

We have to learn to look deeper and find meaning in the beauty that comes with being steadfast.  We need to adjust our vision so that we stop taking what we have for granted, including the people in our lives.  And we need to adjust our perspective so that we don’t take it personally when others do the same to us.  I’m not saying it isn’t difficult when you feel like you are pouring yourself into the world around you, yet it seems everyone just gets used to it and finds nothing special in it anymore.  It IS difficult…but it isn’t unusual.  You aren’t alone in feeling that way.  We ALL have to live with what is left when the new wears off.

shutterstock_154285019When it’s all said and done, it is important to realize that time and troubles have a way of wearing off the new over and over, but WE have control over how we react to it.  Instead of striving for perfection, learn to appreciate the character of imperfection.  People pay large sums of money for antiques that are far from perfect.  They are weathered (and sometimes even smelly) but it is their endurance through time that makes them beautiful.  They aren’t desired because they are the newest, fanciest, most advanced items.  They are sought after because they have stood the test of time.  They have increased in value because of their longevity and resulting character.  Each scar on the antique actually is the mark of a story, a reminder that life is to be lived and not preserved.

So let us live each day from a place of character.  Let us stand strong in the face of complacency – whether it is ours or it belongs to those around us.  Let us not bow our heads when we are seemingly forgotten, unappreciated or taken for granted.  Let us live with such passion that our value to this world lies in what we do AFTER the new wears off.

Blessings!

Living in the Center of His Wheel

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shutterstock_164791247Many people of faith are familiar with the story of the potter and the clay found in the Bible (Jeremiah chapter 18).  We’ve heard the account of how the potter was working to create something, but the clay became marred.  Instead of thinking the clay was ruined or worthless, or instead of getting frustrated and giving up, the potter simply started over remaking the clay into a useful vessel.   Often this story is used as an example of how God never gives up on us, and that is a good and proper picture, but I was thinking about a more specific aspect of the work of the potter that stands out for me.  Pressure.

If you’ve ever worked with pottery (and I have), you understand that it takes complete and total focus.  You also understand that one of the most frustrating things is when the clay gets off-center and becomes out of balance.  You are going along, trying to create something beautiful, but the moment it is out of balance, everything starts falling apart.  Sometimes it happens so quickly, and you find yourself with nothing but a lump that is unrecognizable.  Or maybe as the wheel spins, you find a rock or some other hard substance that can’t just be worked around, and you have to stop everything to remove it and then start over from the beginning.  Either of these things can be disappointing or downright maddening because you only have two choices: 1) Get mad, give up and throw the clay away, or 2) form the clay back into a lump, put it back on the wheel and start over.

shutterstock_97981301It is interesting to consider the change in the amount of pressure a potter must use in order to make the clay into something recognizable, useful and beautiful.  In the beginning, even if the clay has been placed in the very center of the wheel, it starts to become out of balance when the spinning begins.  The potter uses water to make the clay easier to mold, then wraps his hands around it and puts strong pressure in a confined manner to guide it into balance.  A vessel cannot be created until the clay is balanced and centered, but once that happens, the true artwork begins.  Throughout the process, pressure is continually applied in one way or another or to one degree or another.  It is pressure that creates the beautiful intricacies or restores the balance.  But this one thing is for certain: the potter must keep working until the vessel is complete.  There is no stopping in the middle and coming back to it later.  It must either be completed or abandoned.  And the pressure, whether great or barely noticeable, is continually necessary because even with the most masterful artist, the clay can become out of balance at the slightest touch.  When that happens, he must stop creating and spend a little time applying just the right pressure in just the right way to bring everything back into balance.  The same is so true in our lives.

We all endure pressure in life.  It may come in the form of circumstances beyond our control or as a result of poor decisions we make, but it WILL come.  When we feel the pressure, our human nature causes us to become out of balance.  We worry and fret over what we should do.  We get angry over how we have been mistreated.  We get depressed over our lack of ability to change or fix something.  We spin and spin and eventually realize how out of balance we really are.  If only we would realize that God is the master potter and we really are the clay.  He isn’t some mean ogre who is trying to make things difficult for us or punish us.  He actually said He came so that we could have life abundantly!  This world is full of situations and circumstances that will wear us down if we focus on them, but God has promised over and over that if we will simply seek Him first, He will take care of everything else.  That doesn’t mean our lives will be free of trouble, but it means we have a loving Father who is masterfully, patiently and continually creating something amazing, no matter how many times He has to start over.

shutterstock_130134731Pressure in our lives never feels good.  We try to avoid it any time we can but maybe we just need to change the way we think about it.  When we start feeling pressure in our lives, it isn’t time for us to stiffen up and fight against it.  It’s time for us to relax into the potter’s hands and let Him use that pressure for our good.   The most difficult and challenging times for us may be exactly the pressure we need to restore our balance.  The bad decisions we may have made in our lives don’t render us useless or of no value.  Our circumstances don’t destroy us because the Potter has promised to never abandon us.  (“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Hebrews 13:5) He has also promised to finish what He starts!  (“He who began a good work in you is faithful and just to complete it.”  Philippians 1:6).

It is important for us to remember God doesn’t cause problems or imbalance in our lives; He simply applies loving pressure when necessary to RESTORE balance.  He continually has us in His loving hands, purposely working all things out for our ultimate good.  Whatever any of us are going through right now may not feel good.  The pressure may feel unbearable and no matter how we try, we can’t seem to find a way to make things work out. We spend our energy focusing on all that’s wrong or what we don’t have and then wonder why we are fatigued and depressed.  If only we could realize the only job of the clay is to be moldable. If only we were more willing to relax, the pressure wouldn’t seem so unbearable.  If only we would spend more of our time being grateful for the fact we are in our Father’s hands, and realize He is working to make our lives amazing and abundant, we would find it so much easier to breathe.   After all, being in the center of His will really means being in the center of His “wheel.”

And the sooner we soften under the Potter’s touch, the sooner our lives shift from becoming a work of restoration to becoming a work of art.

Blessings!

Declare YOUR Independence!

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shutterstock_131890916Today is July 4th, and for the USA our “Independence Day.” There will be BBQs, celebrations and, as always, lots of fireworks!  Most people are off work and even if they don’t celebrate, they at least get to enjoy an extra day of rest from the normal routine.  But tomorrow is July 5th and most people will wake up and simply go on with their lives as they did on July 3rd, with no different sensation or without a new (or renewed) perspective.  We simply clean up the mess from the celebration and don’t think twice about our independence again until another year goes by.  I can’t help but think how much this mirrors so many other things in our lives.

Life presents us with so many challenges and struggles, and there are days when we feel like we are at the end of our proverbial ropes!  We tend to think all these struggles are a result of outside forces but most often it is a result of our choices in how we deal with those forces.  We make choices to continue to live under the oppression of our circumstances because it is easier to stay in the familiar rather than to step out into the unknown and make a change.  These changes can be something major like moving to a new place, ending a bad relationship, leaving a job that is sucking the life out of you…or it can be something smaller like changing your diet, keeping your house clean or following through on a commitment to take a few minutes of every day to be still.  The point is that changes are never easy, and if you want to declare your independence from your circumstances, you must be willing to pay the price.

shutterstock_52266859Many of you may not enjoy history, but stay with me for a few moments.  Trust me; I have a point in relating this to you.  There are some very interesting things about our Declaration of Independence that most people overlook.  It was not a document that was drafted and signed in one day.  It reflected a period of time that was complex and challenging.  The Boston Tea Party revolt happened in 1773 when people finally had their fill of the oppression they were under.  They got angry and rose up in a very symbolic manner and said “We’ve had ENOUGH!” The tensions, however, continued to exist and in 1775 there was the “shot heard round the world” that started the Revolutionary War at Lexington and Concord.  The Declaration of Independence was drafted in 1776 and adopted on July 4th though it wasn’t signed on that day.  The signing ceremony took place almost a month later on August 2nd, but it still wasn’t completely signed by everyone at that time.  It traveled from place to place during the years of the war, being rolled and unrolled each time it was needed to be referenced again.  It wasn’t until 1781 that the last person signed his name to the document, and it wasn’t until 1783 that Britain officially acknowledged the United States as a sovereign and independent nation.

The reason I share that with you is because I see a similar pattern in our lives today.  Circumstances can be powerful if we allow them.  Whatever problem or circumstance is oppressing us in our personal lives, we find it easier to just keep “drinking the tea” than to take a stand against it.  It may be a miserable existence, but at least it is familiar.  shutterstock_181343867We do this constantly; we stay in situations or patterns in our lives that we say we want to be different, but we just aren’t willing to do what it takes to make it different.  We become victims not out of powerlessness, but because of cowardice.  But then there comes a time for many of us where we, too, have “had enough,” and we rise up within ourselves, committing to make a change for the greater good of our lives.  We have that moment (often by ourselves) where we hit bottom and decide the pain of staying where we are is greater than the pain of fighting and risking it all in order to gain freedom.  We are energized and full of purpose.  We may even feel like heroes for a moment, but then the moment fades and we must make a choice.  We must choose to be committed or forfeit the cause.  Just look at these parallels:

  • It took one year and four months from the night of the tea party for the “shot heard round the world” to ring out and officially begin the Revolutionary War.  For almost a year and half there was tension and escalation of anger at a situation that we knew needed to be changed, but just didn’t see happening. Similarly in our own lives, we often rise up initially from a place of strong emotion at the things weighing us down. Over time, that frustration and despair may increase as we fight and try to change things, but it feels like nothing is really happening.  It is this frustration and sense of purpose that drives us forward toward a greater commitment.
  • From the start of the war, it was another year and three months before the Declaration of Independence was adopted, though it was not completely signed until 1781.  In our lives, when we start down a path of change, we often have to fight for a while before we can even articulate our “declaration of independence” from what is oppressing us.  Even though we may have an underlying purpose, we fight first from a place of desperation or anger but over time (if we continue), we are able to reach a point where we can actually articulate that purpose.  And sometimes, that “declaration” of what we are fighting for isn’t finalized for a while.
  • It took almost seven years from the adoption of the Declaration to the point where Britain officially recognized the USA as a sovereign country.  Just because you make a declaration of independence from something doesn’t mean it will instantly be recognized.  The declaration is your purpose, but your commitment to seeing that purpose or calling to fruition may be a long and difficult journey.  It may be years before you (or other people) can see validation of your declaration but that validation only happens if you don’t give up!  And remember, the document travelled around for years, being unrolled any time it needed to be referenced.  During your fight, you may need to go back to your own “declaration” from time to time to remind yourself of the reason you are fighting.
  • It was 10 years from the time of the Tea Party to the time the war was finally over.  During that period, there was great loss of life and property, but the purpose and mission was so important that we pressed forward with our eyes on the final result.  Did we know for certain things would turn out in our favor?  Of course not, but we BELIEVED it would!  It is that belief that kept us fighting.  It is that belief that made us willing to sacrifice whatever necessary to obtain freedom.  The same holds true for us in the battles we face.  We may not have the certainty of victory guaranteed to us, but if we believe our calling is true – or that our purpose of change is a worthy one – then we can fight on in the face of whatever comes!

shutterstock_188948975Life is not easy and liberty comes with a price.  If you want to escape the tyranny of your circumstances, then the underlying key is to believe!  Our Heavenly Father tells us we are already “more than conquerors” over whatever is thrown at us in life.  So what do you need to do?

  1. BELIEVE
  2. Reach a point where you’ve had enough and rise up
  3. Fight for your purpose, even if you can’t yet find the words to explain it to someone else.
  4. Declare your independence from your circumstances
  5. Fight for as long as it takes, even if the world does not yet recognize your freedom or autonomy.

We do not have to live under the tyranny of our oppressors – those things we need to change in our lives.  We can be FREE, but just as with our nation’s history, freedom comes with a price.  Let us rise up and be committed in our lives to paying the price…because when we are willing to believe and sacrifice, then we are already free!

Blessings!

Where You’re Meant To Be

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shutterstock_112372160It seems a lot of people have the questions, “Where am I supposed to be?”  or “ What am I supposed to do?”  We all seem to struggle to find our niche.  We try this and we try that, and as a result, some things work and some things don’t.  But then there are moments (and I would say that most of us have had them) where we are engaged in something and everything seems right.  It can be anything.  It can be teaching, singing or working in an office.  It could be playing a sport.  It could be doing volunteer work.  It really could be anything, but when you’re doing it, you KNOW it is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.  The planets seem to align in perfect harmony.  Webster’s dictionary defines the word harmony as “a balanced, pleasing or suitable arrangement of parts.”  These are the moments when we actually feel everything come together, and you hear your soul whisper (or maybe even scream) “THIS is what I want to do” or “THIS is where I am called to be!”  For most of us, we have these moments, but then they pass and we walk away and go back to our day-to-day lives, doing whatever it is we do.  These are the times we need to stop, step back and listen to the voice deep within.  When I get up in the morning I often ask myself, “Am I where I’m supposed to be?  Am I doing what God called me to do?”   Many times, the answer is “no,” but why is that so?

Why is it that most of us would (on most days) say we are not doing what we are called to do?  Why would we say we don’t know for certain if we have the right job, or wonder if we are pursuing the right things in life?  Most of the time we are like little wind-up cars, running aimlessly until we hit a wall and then bouncing off and going another direction.  We are always moving, but our direction is based on whatever circumstance we run into.  If we have a good day at work or home, then we feel ok with the path we are walking.  But if we have a bad day, then we start thinking we must be going the wrong way.  We make our living doing “whatever pays the bills” and then wonder why we feel unfulfilled at the end of the day.

I have known since I was about 13 exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  I felt a pull toward things that were (and still are) my destiny.  Sure, I’ve veered from the path at times, and sometimes I’ve avoided taking chances because of my fears of the unknown, but I’ve also honored those things I felt compelled to do no matter where I was at the time.  See, sometimes we find areas – pockets – in our daily routines where we can fulfill our calling even if it isn’t something we are doing full-time.  Although some may view this as selling out, I don’t.  I believe nothing happens by chance, and often we are exactly where we need to be in order for us to learn what is necessary to graduate to the next level of our calling.  No matter where I am (or where you are), God is always working to bring you to the next level in life.   I have had a career in an industry I probably wouldn’t have chosen if I had thought it through, yet I have been blessed beyond measure by the professional journey I have taken.shutterstock_88633219  Do I believe I embarked on the journey that God intended for me?  No.  I followed what made sense to my human reasoning, but God, as He always does, turned my mistake into something that was beneficial for me. Just because we take the wrong turn sometimes doesn’t mean we can’t get back on track.  It may take longer, but the detour is not without purpose.  I made it a point, from the beginning of my career, to make my job about the people I was serving.  I took an impersonal industry and made it personal for me.  I always tried to live my calling within the confines of the choices I had made.   Yes, my choices confined me, but God still allowed me opportunities to live my calling within my environment.  He allowed me to do it through professional connections and personal relationships.  He gave me opportunities to connect on a deeper level with people, and I took those opportunities to heart.  As a result, I have enjoyed blessings most would think impossible.   And to top it off, God eventually brought me to a company where I have been free to live my calling within my career in ways I’ve never experienced before.  I could not be more grateful.  For now, I am where I am supposed to be, even though I continue to feel a call to deeper service.

If you remember nothing else I’ve said, remember this:  Your calling is who you are, and the answer to the question “Where am I meant to be” is not a location.  Where you’re meant to be is a state of mind and heart.  And until you get where you’re meant to be on the inside, you are going to continue to wander on the outside.  Until you can live your calling in spite of your circumstances, or within the confines of your circumstances, you will not be able to live it no matter the circumstances.  It has to be in every beat of your heart.  It has to be such a part of you that it’s like breathing and you can’t live without doing it.  And once you can’t live without doing it, you’ll do it wherever you are.  When it reaches that point on the inside, then I believe God opens up opportunities for us to engage outwardly more in those things IF we are willing to follow (and that’s a big “if”).  Doors will open IF we are willing to go…or in some cases, willing to stay.  It is all about what we are willing to do.

shutterstock_143697373Where you’re meant to be is much deeper than where you work, who you’re married to, where you go to church or anything else in which you engage. It is more than just trying to find a path that fits what you want to do.  It is about paying attention to those times of perfect harmony on the inside when you have clarity on exactly what you are called to do and then being committed to living it wherever you find yourself.  Don’t wait for a better situation or the “right” opportunity for you to be who you are meant to be.  Follow your heart right now!  Do what you are called to do…even if you have to get creative in making it fit wherever you are.  If you will do that, you might just find that BEING who you are called to be is the key to knowing WHERE you are meant to be.

Blessings!

Derailed!

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shutterstock_135699662Do you ever have times in your life where things are swirling around you at such a terrible pace that you seem to just run off the rails?  I read a definition of the word “derail” that said it is “to be deflected from a purpose or direction, permanently or temporarily.”  When I read it, I couldn’t help but think of how things have been in my own world lately.

I’ve always said that sometimes life hits us with the most unexpected situations and leaves us absolutely reeling.  We are shaken and the longer it goes on, the more difficult it becomes to find our footing to stand strong.   When these situations involve the people closest to us, it makes it that much harder to not get discouraged or depressed by what is going on around us.  I say “we,” but maybe I should just speak for myself here.  I know what I believe…about life and about God.  I hold to those truths in the very core of my being but sometimes things happen that put a cloud between my heart and soul, and I find myself foundering, even though I still look like I am “on track” to most people.

Difficulties are often a private thing and, as such, we try to keep on going even when we are at the end of our rope.  We push ourselves to keep performing at work.  We tell ourselves we have responsibilities to fulfill at home or even in church.  We just keep plowing ahead with a determination that is sometimes detrimental to our well-being.  We’ve told ourselves that the only way to get through something is to keep going, so we keep pushing harder and harder, even when our bodies start telling us to stop.   We start breaking down physically and mentally.  Our emotions become harder to contain and yet we just keep going!  We will do anything to keep from stopping the motion because it seems like if we stop, we will be overtaken by everything that is around us.  The thought of it pushes us even harder.  We hit the accelerator in hopes that we can just power through whatever presents itself.

And then it happens…

We come into a curve too fast and suddenly find ourselves running of the rails.  Suddenly, the damage is unavoidable and we realize we’ve lost the ability to “maintain” any longer.   We are derailed.

Recently I experienced this pattern in my own life.  Things happened that rattled my world and created troublesome situations in the most grounding areas of my life.  The unrest it created spiritually, both internally and even within my home, was something that felt too painful to withstand. shutterstock_158132312I questioned things and began to wonder not only how it all would settle down, but when.    I tried to just keep going and consciously reminded myself of the truth of God’s promises that eventually everything works out for our ultimate good.  I tried to get up and go to work and do the best job I could for a company I love, even though I felt as though it didn’t matter.  I kept up my daily routines at home and church and kept powering through the emotions that kept hitting me in the face in every realm.  I just kept going…and going.  I just wanted so badly to get through things that I hit the accelerator into a curve and went flying off the rails.  I couldn’t think.  I didn’t want to breathe.  I just wanted to crawl into a hole, curl up into a tiny little ball and hide from everything.  I just couldn’t take one more thing.  If I couldn’t stop the world around me, then my only choice was to stop myself.

Derailments are an interesting process.  They can be massive, with devastating injuries and destruction or they can be minor, with only some small adjustments needed to get the train back on track.  They can require long periods of clean-up or almost none at all.  It all depends on how far off the rails things go…or how fast you’re going when you leave the tracks.  For me, I was so concerned with getting to the end of the line that I ignored the danger signs that kept popping up in front of me.  Maybe I thought I had the ability to manage the track without adhering to the warnings.  Maybe I thought people around me would think I was weak for slowing down.  Maybe I just wanted to keep moving because I thought it’s what was expected of me.  No matter the reason, it resulted in more difficulties than it resolved and caused me to have to stop for a while to rest, regain my bearings and let God repair the track.

shutterstock_691271There are some situations in life that we cannot change.  People disappoint us or have perspectives we cannot agree with.  Our loved ones may be dealing with their own situations or derailments and it can cause distance between us for a while.  We may feel alone and even abandoned as we journey through these times, but sometimes it is exactly what we need in our own lives in order to grow and become who we are created to be.  There are some things we must all journey through alone so that we come out on the other side with a strength, understanding and courage that does not come any other way.

So if you are experiencing your own derailment, don’t beat yourself up.  Take this time to step back and rest while the track is being repaired.  Use this time to assess the situation, and yourself, so that it can actually become beneficial for you.

And if are dangerously close to derailing, look up.  Heed the warnings and proceed with caution.  If you do, you will soon find that the next sign you see is the one telling you exactly which way to go.

Blessings!