Let me start by saying I have never claimed to be “normal.” What fun is there in that anyway? I am as goofy as the day is long, but God did not create me to be boring! I am an absolute believer in God and His word. I do not apologize for my beliefs or my passion about my Lord and Savior. My faith is the absolute core of who I am, and it is the principles of God’s word that guide me in every aspect of my life. Don’t get me wrong; I totally fail constantly in my walk with Him, and I mess up and make terrible decisions just like everyone else. I am the furthest thing from perfect you will ever find, but I take great solace and comfort in the fact that every time I mess things up, I have a Father who is standing right there, ready to forgive pick me up, dust me off and set me back on the path He has always had for me. He has a purpose for my life, and from this point on I am committed to pursuing that purpose no matter the circumstances. I may do it with my knees trembling, but I believe everything does truly work out for our ultimate good and His glory. It is time to trust that belief entirely.
That all being said, I’ve served in churches over the course of my life so far, holding various roles including being Teacher and Music Director for almost 20 years. I’ve served in many community organizations, including co-writing the business plan and naming a children’s museum (ImagineU in Visalia, CA) and serving as Vice-President of a local organ donation group. For a number of years, I also taught a class now and then for the House of Hope at Visalia Rescue Mission. It is, by far, one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve been blessed to have. Those women didn’t realize what an inspiration and encouragement they were to me when I was with them. There’s something beautiful about dropping all the walls and just being totally honest with people. It provides salve to the wounds of feeling different or all alone at times. It connects us with others in a special way.
Just to give you a little more background, for many years of my life, I struggled with wiring in my brain that caused challenges to maintaining a constant equilibrium. I have never been ashamed of my wiring, but the stigma surrounding anything relating to brain chemistry issues made it a very challenging thing to be open about when I was younger. I know I am made exactly as I was intended to be. I am not a mistake. There is a purpose in how each of us are created, and there is always good that comes from life’s challenges. Embracing who I am, in spite of being ridiculed for my “hippie” perspective, has resulted in a successful professional and personal life. I have self-published three books and have several more in the works. I was unable to have children, but have been blessed with an amazing marriage and family. All of these blessings are far beyond my comprehension, because it is more than I could have imagined. I am enjoying the blessings and fruits of over 30 years of labor to learn myself and make adjustments where necessary, coupled with God’s infinite grace. It has not always been easy. As a matter of fact, it has never been easy, but it has been more than worth it. It has kept me on my knees in humility. It has kept me on my knees in weakness. It has kept me on my knees in gratitude. It has also made me leap and praise God for the successes all along the way.
I will warn you that the intensity of my mind, coupled with my overly pathetic appreciation for life and the people in it, has always caused an openness of expression that often mirrors that intensity. I do not claim the results of any creativity as my own, but simply share them as they come to be. They speak to me and touch my spirit, and that is enough. If somehow they happen to touch someone else, then that is a truly amazing thing to me. My husband laughs that I get so amazed when someone else appreciates or can relate to something creative I have done, whether it is music, writing or painting. I suppose he sees it all much differently than I, but it truly does still amaze me when I find that someone has been affected by, or can relate to, something I have expressed.
To say I love to love would be an understatement. I love from the depths of my soul without reservation. It is not because I am a wonderful person, but because God created me to love, no matter what I get in return or how I am treated. I have been ridiculed for loving as I do. I have been teased because I am so “sappy.” I have often been hurt and wounded by people over the course of my life, because loving others also means you will be open to getting hurt. There have been times over the years when I have certainly had to temper my expression because people can be very judgmental of things they do not understand, but one thing I have never done is temper the love within. I believe in love; not love as our culture has made it to be, but love in its purest form. In its true form, love has the power to do more than we can imagine. Even the Bible tells us that of all the “gifts” in life, “the greatest of these is love.”
So welcome to my world. Welcome to the cadence of my soul. I pray the sharing of my cadence allows you a place to think, reflect, laugh and sometimes even cry. Above all, I pray you are able to see the love behind the words and compassion between the lines!