It’s been so long since I’ve sat down and poured my heart out to you all, but lately I have not been able to escape the desire to do so. As this new year has gotten underway there is something that leaps from my heart in gratitude for where I am and what God has done in my life lately. It is something that altered my spiritual journey and involves a group of believers who have no idea how deeply they affected my life or how they made a difference in ways they would not have imagined. This is my way of saying thank you and sharing with you the lessons I learned as a result.
Most of you know I have been through great losses over the past 5-6 years, including the passing of my mom and dad just six months apart last year. After their passing I felt like everything in my life had been stripped away from me. In 2018, I had left a church where I had devoted 23 years of my life, including my role as Music/Choir Director for 19 of those years. It became apparent that God was moving me in a different direction, and although I followed, it came at a time in my personal life where I needed the support of a church family more than I can even express! I knew, however, that not following God’s leading to move on would have made things even more difficult. I thought He would immediately move me to the place He wanted me to continue serving, but that didn’t happen. We visited a few churches prior to the loss of my parents, but my dad struggled with things being different, as he was dealing with advancing dementia at the time. Recognizing that “finding” a new church wasn’t going to happen with Dad’s condition and Mom’s failing health, we began attending a home church in my sister’s house that lasted a while until we all began to feel as though God was pulling us to find our new church home. My husband and I found a wonderful church and were “all in” with our attendance and participation, but after several months, something just wasn’t fitting. It was a great church, but we realized it was not where God had been leading us, though we tried to stay because we didn’t want to have to move again. With the upheaval in our lives, we just wanted to find “home” and stay there. We learned, however, that trying to stay in our comfort zones when God is still moving doesn’t work that well – not in the decision of a church to attend or in any other decisions we face in life.
We all have times where things around us get a little shaky, but for a child of God, He is still working through those times. He promised He would lead and guide us, but when there is upheaval in an area (or many areas) of life, most of us naturally want to hunker down and not move at all. We just want comfort and peace, and I was scrambling to find anything that resembled it. I just wanted to feel grounded again, but it wasn’t happening for me. When we find ourselves in these places, it is vitally important for us to be still, take a breath – even if it is a forced one – and grab hold of the truths of God’s word and promises to us that He will never leave us (Deut. 31:8) and that He is working all things out for our ultimate good (Rom. 8:28). It doesn’t mean you won’t struggle or even feel alone at times. It doesn’t mean you won’t cry out for understanding or clarity. God’s timing is perfect, but when it doesn’t align with ours, it can cause us great distress in our humanity. Waiting is never easy but waiting when you feel isolated or alone makes it even harder.
After Mom passed, my husband and I began attending a different church, one to which I was being drawn. From the first Sunday, there were things that stood out for me (amazing music with choir and orchestra, along with a biblically sound message), but the thing that stood out the most was that everyone we met seemed genuinely happy to be there and genuinely happy to see everyone who walked in the door whether they were familiar or totally new! I not only felt welcome, but I also felt seen for the first time in a long time. People treated us like old friends even though we were technically strangers. And coming from several years of feeling so isolated, it was the best feeling in the world. As we attended, I continued to watch the dynamic each week to see if what we experienced was consistent and genuine, and it seemed to be so.
After a couple of months, I felt God drawing me into a desire to serve alongside these people, and I was able to join the choir, though I had not yet made the decision whether to officially join the church as a member. That experience, and being welcomed into that group of people with open arms, is something for which I will always be grateful. What it provided for me was the opportunity to see if what I saw and felt flowing from them during services each week was true. Was it a performance? Was it a group full of egos? Or was it people with hearts of service and love for God simply doing what they are called to do? From the very first practice with them, I saw an authenticity that touched my heart deeply. Everyone involved in that music program had a huge impact on my decision to officially join the church. God used all of them to validate and cement in my heart that this is where He had led me, and this is where I belonged. Not only was there truth in the messages, but there was also truth in the people. They didn’t know the profound way God was using them to impact my life and my spiritual journey, but I do, and I am beyond grateful.
What you do as person of faith matters, and especially so as a member of a body of believers. You never know who may be watching, searching for something that is real…something that surpasses “religion” and cuts to the heart of our relationships with God and to each other. I’ve said this often, but Jesus tells us we ARE salt and light, not that we can be salt and light. We just need to decide what kind of salt and light we will be. God can do amazing things in our lives and in the lives of others around us when we serve with a willing heart. There is no way we will ever know the scope of how our lives have positively impacted this world when we put God’s word into action. We won’t always see how He worked in the lives of people around us just by us pouring love into even the strangers we meet along the way. But just like a stone tossed into the water, the ripples extend far beyond what we can see and to depths we may never even know existed.
I have such gratitude for the people that God used to create a gateway to the body of believers that has become my home. For every person I have encountered that has loved and shown God’s love not only to me, but to everyone who walks through that door, thank you. Thank you for your witness and example of what a family of God looks like. When I lost my dad on Christmas Eve last year, I felt so alone in many ways. I had only begun building relationships with those around me in my new church home, so I didn’t feel that full web of support I had experienced for all but the previous few years of my life. But standing here today, I am also a testimony of how God can soothe and heal our hearts in reverse because the unbelievable joy, love, and connectedness I feel to Him and to all of you makes it seem like you’ve been with me all along…even back then.
As we continue into this new year, I pray we can all take a moment and remember those who have impacted us in such a way that we are changed for the better. As people of faith, let us remember that we are impacting others every single day of our lives. Not only are we commanded to love, but we are commanded how to love and what that love says to the world around us…. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)
Blessings to you all!
p.s. If you are looking for a place to worship, come join me! https://www.gatewayvisalia.com/
How many times have you found yourself overwhelmed and burned out? If you are like me, it’s probably been more than once! I say all the time that we get thrown into so many circumstances in life and even if there are a lot of good things (by our definition), the amount of activity just seems to keep increasing, and it totally wears us out. That’s where I find myself now, and I’m sure many of you can relate.
I was raised with a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. I have always tried to be the best at what I do, but more importantly I have tried to love and serve God and others in every way possible. I’ve been active in church all my life, worked successfully at my job, and had all kinds of other interests and activities. My point is that I am not one to sit on the sidelines, and it is important for me to feel like what I am doing makes a difference for others. That all sounds great, until I began to realize my positive drive becomes warped when my sense of responsibility gets skewed.
When leaders become so engrossed in themselves, or so detached from the people they are supposedly serving, there is chaos. That chaos may not always manifest in external ways, but internally it leaves people feeling alone and without support or direction. That’s when you see informal leaders appear, and often those people are not always operating with the best intentions; sometimes they are seeking control. I will add though, sometimes there are also very good people who are simply trying to step up and keep things going in the absence of appropriately placed leadership. When leaders don’t lead, it begins a vicious cycle that only stops when the he or she takes a hard look in the mirror and changes, or you get a new leader. Aside from one of those two things, “the people perish.” Do you know whose responsibility it is to lead? THE LEADER’S!
Many of you who know me or have read my blog for the past few years know that I did not give birth to children of my own. I used to say I was not “blessed” with children of my own, but I have tried to change the way I look at it. Children are certainly a blessing from God, but so is every other gift with which God blesses us. And just like it is the responsibility of a mother or father to nurture, grow and raise his/her child, it is our job to nurture, grow and raise our appointed gifts. One gift from God is not greater than another and if we are living as we should, we will not treat them as such – in ourselves or in looking at those around us. God entrusts all of us with specific gifts that require sacrifice, patience, responsibility, passion, love in order to raise them. Those gifts also often bring us disappointment, frustration, and heartaches as we see them not turning out the way we planned, or when we make mistakes in how we raise them.
We really are all gifted in certain ways. God has given to each of us the abilities and interests we need in order to fulfill what we are called to do. He has equipped us to walk whatever paths are before us, and He has promised to go with us wherever we go, but there are times those paths (or those gifts) feel like a burden. I don’t know a parent who hasn’t had times of feeling burdened by the responsibility of raising his/her children. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids, but the reality of day-to-day living is far more challenging than anticipated. There are discouragements and frustrations that come along that make them question if they are doing the right things or dealing with their kids in the best ways to ensure they grow up to be good people. The same is true of our other gifts and talents. We know what we are called to do, or we recognize the gifts within us, but it is a continual learning process as to how we need to nurture them. We make decisions that involve our gifts and then second guess if that was really the best use of them. Other times we make obvious mistakes in the direction we go and then beat ourselves up for it.
There is another aspect of parenting that also applies greatly to our gifts: protection. Parents must protect their children, and we must also protect our gifts. Our talents, abilities and callings must be protected. People can be so mean and so incredibly judgmental of what we do with our lives. They can discourage us, or even try to forbid us from using our gifts when it doesn’t fit their ideas or beliefs about what we should be doing. People may even belittle the gifts themselves, making them seem meaningless or trivial when compared to the gifts or talents of others. For example, someone with the ability to be a great musician, speaker, athlete or business-man/woman are often lauded to have great gifts. It is “respectable” or “honorable” to be a doctor, lawyer, singer, athlete, etc. On the other hand, the man or woman who is gifted to understand people with disabilities, or to clean homes/buildings, drive a bus, or anything else that isn’t as “shiny,” are viewed as having lesser gifts. What about people who have the gift of praying or service? You know them, the ones who are quietly faithful to do whatever it is God has given to them to do, without accolades or applause. Are their gifts any less valuable? On the contrary, I’d say they have the greatest gifts of all! My point is that we don’t know each other’s children as well as know our own, and the moment we start thinking our gifts are better than someone else’s just because they look different, we are treading on very thin ice.
So today, I hope we will all step back and consider the gravity of parenting our respective gifts. It is a responsibility, and it can be difficult and disappointing at times, but it can also be a source of great joy! You are not here by chance, and you are not here to just take up space. We are here “for such a time as this,” and we need to turn our focus upward. We need to live according to the love, grace, mercy and forgiveness that has been given to us by our Heavenly Father and extend those things to the world around us. We need to encourage each other’s gifts, not envy them. We need to support each other, not tear each other down. We need to recognize the specialness of our own gifts from God and feel honored to be entrusted with raising them. There may not be a holiday here on earth to commemorate or honor us for the raising of our gifts, but if we do it humbly as we are called to do, there is coming day where we will be honored by our Heavenly Father when we hear the words, “Well done.”
Beauty and the Beast is an iconic Disney movie. It’s a classic and has been loved by so many people around the world. Like most things “Disney,” it is very family-friendly. When information started coming out about quotes the openly gay director of the new film had made regarding Christianity/religion, and how he was thrilled to have a “delicious” exploration of a characters sexuality, the response was swift from Christians everywhere. It wasn’t just swift, it was venomous. Arguments broke out, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth over the downfall of such a family-friendly company who was “catering to the LGBTQ community.” I get it. People were upset; but they were upset at something they had yet to see with their own eyes. Man, this happens with us “Christians” all the time anymore. I am not advocating we, as people of faith, give up our principles that are founded in God’s word. I’m just asking us to take a good look at the hypocrisy in which we far too often live our lives.
What I saw was a beautifully made movie. I will not spoil the “big, gay moment” at the end, as some have called it, but will say it is the furthest thing from that assessment. Is there a moment? Yes. It is offensive? No. Could it as easily have been interpreted as a funny moment rather than something else? Yes. Shoot, Fried Green Tomatoes had more moments that could have been interpreted one way or another but you didn’t have some outrageous boycott of that movie. My point is, the few comments of a director who does not value our faith is what blew this up. As usual, we are picking and choosing when to be outraged and when we don’t think twice about it.
Here’s the bottom line: If we are going to call ourselves “Christians,” then we need to act like Christ. You remember Him, right? He was the one eating with the criminals and loving the unlovable. He was the one reaching out to the sinners engaged in all kinds of reprehensible behaviors and offering them forgiveness, love and hope. He was the one condemning the religious people of the day who went around acting holy for the sake of being seen. Remember Him? He shattered religion. He lived in perfect accordance with His word and spent more time with the “sinners” than the “saints.” If He was walking the earth today, Christianity – the religion with Him at the center, would reject Him, shame Him, destroy Him on social media, and then do everything they could to silence Him. We are the Pharisees and we need to realize that following Jesus means letting go of our pride and spiritual arrogance and live from a place of love and compassion. And we need to live it consistently. Jesus called the Pharisees a “generation of vipers.” God help us to not reach the point where He says the same of us. We are dangerously close to being those same snakes that stood in judgment of the sins of others instead of their own.
Hate. Anger. Turmoil. It seems we are surrounded by it constantly these days. We could attribute it to recent tragedies or the political season, but I think it’s more than that. We are a rich country. I’m not saying everyone is rich, but even the poor in our country have access to more food, shelter and services than many other places. Here’s the thing about prosperity: It’s easier to have more time on our hands, and when we have more time, we have the choice to think about the blessings in our lives or all of the things that are not as we would like. We have more time to think, and yet our thoughts don’t always rest on what the Bible tells us in the book of Philippians: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise – meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) Instead, it seems our thoughts go to those things that are more selfish and divisive.
I am a white, conservative, heterosexual Christian. I also have friends and loved ones who are of all colors, religions, backgrounds and creeds. I love them all equally. I may have more in common with some, which leads me to spend more time with some, but I do not love them more. As a result of my perspective on love, I have some very deep and meaningful relationships with people that others may not understand. Some would even say I should not have these relationships based on my own “classifications.” What a load of crap! I would not turn my back on those relationships simply because we have different opinions or perspectives. Even the people I encounter and find extremely difficult to even tolerate (let alone love), I am still to love them. Loving as God has commanded means that I will love others and see them as God sees them. And in God’s eyes, they mean so much to Him that they are worth dying for! Do I always succeed at that? Sadly, I do not. Like many of you, I struggle to not get caught up into the anger that comes as a result of one side or another (on any issue) becoming belligerent, uncaring and unloving – even if I might agree with their actual position. Everyone likes to point the finger at others and say they are the “judgers,” but everyone shares that trait in common! Everyone is a hypocrite at one point or another. As a result, we end up living lives that are not abundant. We stress and fight and get tied up in knots internally over the issues that face us, while at the same time God is looking at us saying, “Come unto Me all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28) God wants us to rest! He wants us to rest because resting from our labor should be refreshing. When we get quiet, our minds should turn to Him and to a true reflection of ourselves – not the image we try to portray to others.
After the recent Orlando tragedy, there are a lot of “love wins” quotes once again being circulated. I realize that phrase has been used for one particular cause, but the reality is that truest love DOES win – the love of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 DOES win! It wins because it will cause us to be honest with ourselves and take off our masks so that we can see ourselves for who we are. It allows us to face the truth of Matt 7:3-5 that says, “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” 
The Cadence of My Soul 