Category Archives: Perspective

A Special Request

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shutterstock_176623409Sometimes life can really throw us curveballs…and these days I often feel like I am definitely having trouble with the curve!  We all have times when it seems as if the challenges keeps pouring down over our heads to the point we truly think we might drown. When these times hit us, it is easy to lose sight in the storms and start thinking there’s just no way we can make it through.  We get frustrated, overwhelmed or just downright depressed.  Even if we try to keep ourselves going in public, we privately find it hard to even catch a breath.  Trouble and challenges find us no matter how much we try to avoid them.  We can certainly make ourselves vulnerable to more difficulties through our choices, but sometimes all the things we see as difficulties are really a chance for us to grow.  Yeah, I know.  I don’t like the fact that’s the truth either!

Many of you have read my most recent book titled “How We Said Goodbye.”  Though it was the story of the journey I made with my friend Annette, in it I also shared the circumstances surrounding my dear friend Sandy and how cancer reared its ugly head in her world a couple of years ago.  It has been an amazing journey with all kinds of treatments since that time, but she has done better than I think most of us expected.  With each new round of treatments there was potential for all kinds of negative and debilitating effects and yet she sailed through with relatively minor issues.  It has been an unspeakable blessing to have seen the progress she has made over the past couple of years.  In January, Sandy was pronounced to be “radiologically” cancer free.  You can imagine the excitement we all felt at such great news after such a difficult journey!  And then it happened….

Sandy had a scan in April that revealed recurrence of her cancer that is necessitating yet another, potentially very extensive, surgery.  In addition to the surgery, the doctors will be performing an IORT procedure (Intra-Operative Radiation Therapy) while she is in the operating room.  It is an amazing procedure where they are able to move vital organs aside while the surgical wound is still open and pinpoint the radiation therapy directly on the site of the cancer.  This may turn out to be a great help to her prognosis.  We are certainly hoping so.

d sandyBecause Sandy really hates the limelight, I realize I might get slapped by her for what I’m about to say, but right now she has no control over my fingers so…here I go.  Anyone who knows Sandy or has been around her at all over the past couple of years will tell you she really is one “tough old broad!”  I’ve always known and seen what an amazingly strong person she is, but this journey has proved just how right I was.  But with Sandy, it’s more than just strength…it’s grace.  I’m not saying she doesn’t have moments now and then when things get to her, but to listen to her talk, she has a faith that surpasses that of what most of us claim to have – especially in times of trouble.  She may be human, but she continually looks at the blessings her Heavenly Father has given to her or provided for her during this very difficult time instead of looking at all the things she has to deal with.  It isn’t platitudes or clichés; it is a palpable, authentic trust and gratitude for God’s  love and care for her and her family.  She doesn’t wear rose-colored glasses and she knows exactly what she has been (and is) up against, but she truly lives what she believes…even when she thinks she is caving just a little bit.

Sandy and her family are a family of true faith.  She and her husband (who happens to be a Pastor) have raised their four daughters with great love.  They’ve not had to use words to teach their children (or those around them) what it means to live according to God’s word because they’ve taught them (and us) through their actions.  It is this very rational, logical faith and trust in God that is continuing to sustain them now just as it always has.  To me, that is a beautiful example of what it means to have peace in the midst of the storm.

shutterstock_192108185So speaking of storms and the ones raging around me right now, I suppose it’s time for me to take note of all the blessings in my own life instead of getting so distracted by the wind and waves that seem like they will overtake me.  If Sandy can raise the sails in her storm and harness the wind, I can certainly do better at doing the same in my own.   And as she approaches surgery this Friday, May 23rd at 7:30 a.m., I am asking those of you who are willing, to join us in prayer for Sandy, her family and her medical team (Dr. Nakakura, Dr. Gottschalk and their staff).   Anything is possible and we choose to believe that our Father truly is working things out for His glory and our ultimate good.  The short path is not always what we want to travel, but the reality is we can all breathe easier knowing we are resting in the palm of His hand.

Blessings…and thank you.

Where You’re Meant To Be

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shutterstock_112372160It seems a lot of people have the questions, “Where am I supposed to be?”  or “ What am I supposed to do?”  We all seem to struggle to find our niche.  We try this and we try that, and as a result, some things work and some things don’t.  But then there are moments (and I would say that most of us have had them) where we are engaged in something and everything seems right.  It can be anything.  It can be teaching, singing or working in an office.  It could be playing a sport.  It could be doing volunteer work.  It really could be anything, but when you’re doing it, you KNOW it is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.  The planets seem to align in perfect harmony.  Webster’s dictionary defines the word harmony as “a balanced, pleasing or suitable arrangement of parts.”  These are the moments when we actually feel everything come together, and you hear your soul whisper (or maybe even scream) “THIS is what I want to do” or “THIS is where I am called to be!”  For most of us, we have these moments, but then they pass and we walk away and go back to our day-to-day lives, doing whatever it is we do.  These are the times we need to stop, step back and listen to the voice deep within.  When I get up in the morning I often ask myself, “Am I where I’m supposed to be?  Am I doing what God called me to do?”   Many times, the answer is “no,” but why is that so?

Why is it that most of us would (on most days) say we are not doing what we are called to do?  Why would we say we don’t know for certain if we have the right job, or wonder if we are pursuing the right things in life?  Most of the time we are like little wind-up cars, running aimlessly until we hit a wall and then bouncing off and going another direction.  We are always moving, but our direction is based on whatever circumstance we run into.  If we have a good day at work or home, then we feel ok with the path we are walking.  But if we have a bad day, then we start thinking we must be going the wrong way.  We make our living doing “whatever pays the bills” and then wonder why we feel unfulfilled at the end of the day.

I have known since I was about 13 exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  I felt a pull toward things that were (and still are) my destiny.  Sure, I’ve veered from the path at times, and sometimes I’ve avoided taking chances because of my fears of the unknown, but I’ve also honored those things I felt compelled to do no matter where I was at the time.  See, sometimes we find areas – pockets – in our daily routines where we can fulfill our calling even if it isn’t something we are doing full-time.  Although some may view this as selling out, I don’t.  I believe nothing happens by chance, and often we are exactly where we need to be in order for us to learn what is necessary to graduate to the next level of our calling.  No matter where I am (or where you are), God is always working to bring you to the next level in life.   I have had a career in an industry I probably wouldn’t have chosen if I had thought it through, yet I have been blessed beyond measure by the professional journey I have taken.shutterstock_88633219  Do I believe I embarked on the journey that God intended for me?  No.  I followed what made sense to my human reasoning, but God, as He always does, turned my mistake into something that was beneficial for me. Just because we take the wrong turn sometimes doesn’t mean we can’t get back on track.  It may take longer, but the detour is not without purpose.  I made it a point, from the beginning of my career, to make my job about the people I was serving.  I took an impersonal industry and made it personal for me.  I always tried to live my calling within the confines of the choices I had made.   Yes, my choices confined me, but God still allowed me opportunities to live my calling within my environment.  He allowed me to do it through professional connections and personal relationships.  He gave me opportunities to connect on a deeper level with people, and I took those opportunities to heart.  As a result, I have enjoyed blessings most would think impossible.   And to top it off, God eventually brought me to a company where I have been free to live my calling within my career in ways I’ve never experienced before.  I could not be more grateful.  For now, I am where I am supposed to be, even though I continue to feel a call to deeper service.

If you remember nothing else I’ve said, remember this:  Your calling is who you are, and the answer to the question “Where am I meant to be” is not a location.  Where you’re meant to be is a state of mind and heart.  And until you get where you’re meant to be on the inside, you are going to continue to wander on the outside.  Until you can live your calling in spite of your circumstances, or within the confines of your circumstances, you will not be able to live it no matter the circumstances.  It has to be in every beat of your heart.  It has to be such a part of you that it’s like breathing and you can’t live without doing it.  And once you can’t live without doing it, you’ll do it wherever you are.  When it reaches that point on the inside, then I believe God opens up opportunities for us to engage outwardly more in those things IF we are willing to follow (and that’s a big “if”).  Doors will open IF we are willing to go…or in some cases, willing to stay.  It is all about what we are willing to do.

shutterstock_143697373Where you’re meant to be is much deeper than where you work, who you’re married to, where you go to church or anything else in which you engage. It is more than just trying to find a path that fits what you want to do.  It is about paying attention to those times of perfect harmony on the inside when you have clarity on exactly what you are called to do and then being committed to living it wherever you find yourself.  Don’t wait for a better situation or the “right” opportunity for you to be who you are meant to be.  Follow your heart right now!  Do what you are called to do…even if you have to get creative in making it fit wherever you are.  If you will do that, you might just find that BEING who you are called to be is the key to knowing WHERE you are meant to be.

Blessings!

A Path or a Pile of Bricks?

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shutterstock_15701413I recently came across the following quote: “Sometimes in life you have to choose between two paths; other times all you get is a pile of bricks, and the path you build is up to you.”  After the past couple of months of trying to decide which way to go, it certainly feels like there has been nothing but ton after ton of bricks piled up in front of me.

So often in life we come to times of decision and tend to think it is an “either or” option, even when there may be other options available.  It is natural for us to go through a process of elimination until we are left with two choices and then try to figure out which is best, or in some cases, which is the lesser of two evils.  Most of us were raised to make decisions by looking at our options, weighing the pros and cons and then choosing the one that will bring the best results.  I’m not saying there is anything inherently wrong with this approach, as sometimes it can help immensely to take emotion out of it and “count the cost” of the journey on which we consider embarking.   Counting is not always bad and reasoning is not always wrong, but when we limit ourselves to only those paths that have already presented themselves to us or have been sanctioned by the people around us (whether family, friends, churches, or coworkers), then we have lost something very valuable in the midst.

shutterstock_32845126Life is not always black and white, and sometimes it can get a little messy.   We may experience unrest that causes us to feel compelled to make a change.  We may feel like the only way to gain our balance is to do something different, so we start looking for our options.  We must be careful when we start down this path, because it usually involves relying on our human reasoning and rationale.  Our human reasoning is often tainted greatly by our emotions.  When faced with a decision, we often choose the path that feels better.  We often choose the most lucrative path or the one that seems to be more logical.  We don’t often choose to stay on a path that may be temporarily uncomfortable because we don’t like pain or discomfort.  We get angry, frustrated, disheartened or even depressed about our current situation and start looking for a way out of it.  When we start looking for a way out, we naturally look for which path we should choose.

But what if it’s not about “choosing” a path but building one?

What if we took the mountain of bricks in front of us and build a path with them rather than looking for a way around them or how to remove them?  What if we started building instead of walking?  What if we put on our figurative headphones and listened to the music of that still small voice within instead of the overwhelming cacophony of noise that comes from everyone around us?  What if the bricks in front of us aren’t obstacles at all, but the exact materials we need in order to accomplish things greater than we could have imagined?

shutterstock_113875279It is so easy to get lost in the circumstances of life.  Sometimes we get hurt or disappointed.  Sometimes we feel unappreciated or mistreated.  Sometimes we get so disillusioned with things we previously had confidence in that it rattles us to the core.  Every negative experience or uncomfortable situation is another brick tossed in front of us.  When we find ourselves in these times, as I have been lately, it is so important to go back to what you know to be true and hold on to those things.  Get back to your guiding principles and let your heart and spirit settle for a bit before you go charging out onto a path that may or may not be best for you.  Maybe you (or I, in this case) need to see our difficulties not as something to work around but to work with.  Maybe we need to see all the many things that are going “wrong” in our lives as the bricks we need in order to build a road that leads us to places we could not reach any other way.

Life is complex and we are constantly presented with circumstances (or people) that test our faith and resolve.  We are faced with situations that leave us reeling, and we feel as though we just can’t take any more.  We get wounded to a point where we think we will not recover.  Lately I have questioned almost everything in my own life and have decided it is time to stop looking for a path to choose, but to build one.  It is time to follow where I am called, no matter where it leads.  It is time to take the bricks that for months have seemed to be piled everywhere and start fitting them together in whatever manner God leads me to place them.  It is a new kind of art, a new kind of creativity.

shutterstock_104872121So if you are wondering which way to go or are struggling with decisions in life, take heart.  If you are truly seeking clarity, you will find it.  If you truly want to know which way to go, you must first be willing to go.  When your heart is finally willing, and you are ready to give up your own reasoning and trust God for the results, one of two things will happen:  Either it will become clear which path to take, or you will suddenly see your pile of “bricks” as the exact stones you need to forge the path to exactly where you are called to be.

Blessings!

What’s In a Name?

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shutterstock_146424497When someone asks the question, “Who are you,” most people respond with a name.  Some people might respond with their occupation or title, but for the most part, we consider our name to be our most important identifier.  But what happens when your sense of identity is actually wrapped up in your name?  Are you defined solely by the family you were born into or raised by?   What happens if your name reminds you of someone you have great disdain for or of a childhood that was less than perfect?  Should you change it?  Should you leave it and spend your life resenting it?  It can be a dilemma when you look at yourself as only a name.

Who you are is so much more than a name or a title.  It is the choices you make and the things you do.  God made you unique and gave you special gifts and abilities.  Your name or title has nothing to do with it.  We need to quit tying ourselves to a man-given name and feeling privileged or disadvantaged as a result.  Yes, being born into certain families (celebrities, royalty, rich or popular) can provide more opportunities and advantages than most people get, but it CERTAINLY doesn’t guarantee you will have a happy life or be a decent human being.  Being born into families where your name is associated with something negative or has already been dragged through the mud before you even existed can make it more challenging to overcome.  It is a fact of life that our name matters…but to what degree?  How much of it can we affect?  Is our only choice to feel bad about ourselves or to change our name?  Is our only option to get rid of it?

shutterstock_153833735What we tell ourselves about where we come from is not nearly as important as what we tell ourselves about who we are.  If we came from an abusive situation, we need to acknowledge our past but we do not have to be defined by it.  If we came from a past of being bullied or made fun of, we don’t have to continue to feel less than acceptable.  If we came from circumstances in which we did not have our needs met, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or even spiritually, we do not have to continue to settle for being empty.  If we lived with a person or people who were an embarrassment (or worse) to us, or made us want to become someone else, we don’t have to continue to run away.  There is another choice: Face it…then start changing your perspective.   I know that is easier said than done, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

Our names sometimes carry great weight and responsibility, and sometimes they can carry pain and embarrassment.   If your name is such a burden that you cannot escape it, then it is not wrong to consider changing it.  BUT if you change your name and nothing else, nothing else is going to change.  You will gain nothing but new letters to sign on a check.  Instead, consider the fact that you can take back your name from the person or persons who degraded it.  You can redeem your name by living a life that is filled with love, kindness, compassion and generosity.  You can live a life that does not judge others, but lifts them up.  Live in the moment.  Live to help, not hurt.  Live to build up, not destroy.  Quit blaming your past (or your name) for your “bad luck” and take back the power from the ones who took it from you and reclaim your God-given identity.

shutterstock_15258877On the other hand, maybe you were fortunate enough to be given a name that is associated with success, intelligence, authority or sincere acts of compassion and generosity.  Maybe you had parents who were well-respected, highly regarded by others or accomplished great things.  It is easy to fall into a mindset that somehow your parents’ or family’s successes are also your own.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be proud of where you come from or the way you were raised, but you cannot live your life based on what others before you have done.  You must make your own mark on the world.  Quit assuming the successes of others as though they are your own and then putting yourself on a pedestal as a result.  Count your blessings that you had a family who loved and cared for you.  Be grateful for the opportunities afforded you because of the circumstances into which you were born, but above all, be who YOU are supposed to be.    You have unique God-given abilities and desires that have nothing to do with your name!  They have everything to do with the amazing journey in store for you if you will let go of your sense of entitlement and leap out by faith into the true calling for your life.

So what’s in a name?  I guess the true answer to that is found within each and every one of us.  Your name is what YOU make of it.  It doesn’t matter what it contains; what matters is what you fill it with.

Blessings!

Resolutions? Let’s Get This Straight…

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shutterstock_128054627As the new year is upon us and we all pause to reflect on the things that took place in our lives in 2013, it seems everyone is yet again making resolutions they hope will positively affect things in 2014.  Resolutions are an interesting thing to me because of the word itself.  “Resolution” is defined by Webster as “the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc ; the act of resolving something.”  We use the word in more of a sense of intent to do “better” than we did in the previous year.   We say we are going to be better people, nicer, kinder, more generous.  We tell ourselves we are going to be more patient and less angry.  We say we are going to eat right and exercise more.  We have all kinds of things we call “resolutions” when really they aren’t resolutions at all.  If the word means the act of finding an answer or solution to a problem, then a resolution is the product of a process that comes only after we have been willing to take a very honest look at a situation, clear the fog around it and see it for what it is.  That means seeing US as we really are.  No one likes to take a long hard look in the mirror because it often reveals things we spend most of our time and energy trying to reason away.  But if we will NOT take that very difficult look in the mirror, then our resolutions are nothing more than empty promises we use in order to make ourselves feel better for a little while.   Remember, a resolution means you have resolved a dilemma.  It means you have an answer to the issue.  Whether or not you ACT on that resolution is another matter altogether.

We all search for answers in life.  We want to have certainty on what to do rather than fly by the seat of our pants, but certainty is often hard to come by.  Sometimes our problems or circumstances are such that we aren’t able to find an answer we can act on.  Sometimes the “answer” is to wait instead of acting.  Sometimes the answers come with time but most of us are too impatient to take the journey.  We want instant results.  We want “resolutions.”  We want a new beginning!  There’s nothing wrong with desiring a new perspective or direction in life but we don’t get it by simply making a promise we THINK we should make.  We get it by being willing to take the journey necessary to finally have the answer that is right for us…not the answer we THINK we should have, but the one that is actually the truth.  When we reach that point in a situation, it is the moment we have a true resolution.  We know which way we are supposed to go or what we are supposed to do.  It has been said that “knowing is half the battle,” which means reaching the point of resolution is only half the battle.  The rest of the battle is acting on it.

shutterstock_96294860So here’s the challenge:  Don’t get caught up in the hype of “new year’s resolutions” and focus instead on the truth you see in the mirror each day.  Be willing to not only see the things you want to change, but to ask God to show you the reason you do them in the first place.  Strive for understanding, not answers.  Strive for purpose, not plans.  When you let go of trying to find the answers, the answers will come.   And when you have that clarity for the direction of your life or circumstance, be willing to step out on faith and follow, no matter how much it scares you or how difficult the change may be.   Don’t make resolutions, LIVE THEM!

Blessings!