Tag Archives: Gratitude

Life From Death

Posted on by
Reply

shutterstock_156553007I watched a video recently from the Smithsonian Channel that was showing how plants have their own version of nerves and electrical impulses (video link posted below).   Although this shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone since they are living organisms, it still made me stop and think about a few things.  Just stay with me for a few moments on this.  First of all, after seeing the video, I joked about the fact that this creates a very difficult position for people who don’t eat meat because they claim they don’t want to “kill” something.  I am mostly vegetarian for health reasons but it’s always interesting to listen to those who see themselves as more holy, compassionate, enlightened or evolved than others because they claim to be treating all living things as equal.  I’ve always said that everything we eat was alive at some point (if you exclude the processed crap that is out there).  If you say you refuse to eat anything that has life, then you will most likely starve.  Even most dirt contains particles from things that were once living.

Call me a “hippie” if you want, but I’ve always been aware of the fact that the things we eat have given their life for ours, regardless of what it is.  We are sustained by consuming plants and/or animals that had to die so we could live.  If we stop to think about that truth, it should cause us to be more grateful and respectful toward the things we eat.  Eating should be an honorable endeavor.  Quite frankly, it should make us a little more humble and a little less arrogant about the life around us.  Just because we must eat to survive doesn’t mean we should do it without thought or appreciation for the sacrifice.

shutterstock_133769489This is Easter weekend.   People of faith around the world are commemorating the death, burial and resurrection of their Lord and Savior…and I am certainly one of them.   As I thought about this whole thing with food, I found a striking similarity for those of us who identify ourselves as “believers.”    I have been redeemed and changed by the fact that Jesus died on a cross for my sins.  I am forgiven.  I am spiritually alive.  I am alive because God promised me I am alive.   John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”  And the reason I have everlasting life is because Jesus  (who is God Himself)  was willing to lay down His life and sacrifice it for mine.  He endured the most terribly painful, humiliating and horrific torture and death…and He endured it all for ME.  He endured it for YOU.  He did it because He loves us with a love that we can’t completely understand.  He did it before we loved Him.  He gave His life for mine, and just as I should respect and honor the sacrifice of the living things that died so I can eat and be nourished, I should even more so honor and respect the sacrifice the God of the universe made so that I can live eternally.

shutterstock_177898622You see, nothing comes without some kind of sacrifice.  There are no free rides in life.  Somewhere, somehow, someone or something paid (or will pay) the price.  How amazing it is that God knew I had a debt that I could never repay so He humbled Himself and confined Himself to an earthly body so that He could live among mankind and redeem me by taking my place on the cross.  He took my beatings.  He took the ugliness of the torture and the betrayal of His friends.  God, the creator of the universe,who could have called ten thousand angels to kill everyone involved, let them spit on Him for my sake.  He allowed them to nail Him to a tree and mock Him as He hung there.  And then, when it was time, He said “It is finished,” and dismissed His spirit.  They didn’t take His life from Him, He dismissed it Himself.  He willingly gave it up…and He did it for me.

But that wasn’t the end.  Praise God that wasn’t the end!  Because on Easter morning, the stone was rolled away from the tomb and Jesus came out alive!  It isn’t just His death that gives me life, it is His resurrection!  That is why people of faith around the world celebrate this holiday.  That is why we gather in churches across the world with fellow believers and sing praises to the One who didn’t just die for me, but He ROSE for me!  He conquered death and hell and as a result, has both the ability and authority to set me free forever!  I cannot help but sing out the words to that song…”My chains are gone!  I’ve been set free!  My God, my Savior has ransomed me.  And like a flood, His mercy reigns…unending love, amazing grace.”

shutterstock_74847238So this Easter season, I pray we are all filled with the assurance that we are loved beyond comprehension by the One who has the power to redeem us not only for eternity, but for every day and every moment.  I pray we pause to consider His sacrifice and honor it by spending more time living a life filled with genuine love, not judgment, for others.  We are all just sinners saved by His grace, and the sooner we realize the only reason we live is because He died, the sooner our arrogance and pride will fade into a humble gratitude for the unspeakable gift He gave.

Blessings!

Click here to watch “Do Plants Respond To Pain?”

I Still Believe…

Posted on by
Reply

Every year I get out my Christmas decorations and put them up the weekend after Thanksgiving.  In the midst of my decorations each year sits a framed letter I wrote to Santa when I was only nine years old.  I don’t always stop to re-read it but this year I took a few extra moments to do so and decided to share it with all of you.

photo 2As cute as I find that letter, it strikes me how much I can see my adult self in that little girl’s note.   I loved Christmas…and still do.  Even though I was starting to get older, I still chose to hold to the truth there was a Santa Claus out there who spread love and joy around the world.  I had a wonderful childhood and it wasn’t that I was trying to live in some fantasy world, but I just loved Santa and what he represented. I’ve often said I was not a normal kid and it’s so true!  I remember writing that letter and truly believing everything I said.  First of all, I knew that I could always be a better person.  I didn’t care about material gifts but gifts of the heart.  To me, love was the greatest gift you could give or receive.  Love also meant you were honest, which is why I couldn’t even get through my letter to Santa without correcting my opening statement that I had been “good.”   I felt like I didn’t deserve anything not because I was so terrible, but because I felt like I hadn’t done enough to help others.  I wanted “stuff” for other people (or animals)! Yeah…I was a sappy child.  All I wanted was for Santa to know that he was important to me and that I loved him.  And if there was something he could bring me, I didn’t want stuff because it didn’t matter to me at all.  More than anything, I just wanted him to know that I was grateful and that I cared about him and loved him with all my heart.  It’s interesting to me that what I said or asked for in my letter is still reflective of the way I think today.   Material things still don’t matter to me.  Sure, they are nice to have, but what really matters is the connections and relationships we have with the people around us.  What matters is love.  THAT is the true magic of Christmas.

So in this season of overspending and over-committing to activities, let us remember to stop and show our love to the people in our lives…not with gifts we can buy but with the gift of ourselves and our time.  In a season where the world tries to distract us from the true reason why there IS a Christmas, let us be thankful to our Father who IS love.

And may my grown up Christmas letter always be filled with the same sentiment it had when I was nine. Blessings!

A Huge Milestone

Posted on by
1

Annette new york 001This post is the sharing of something personal because today was a huge day in my world.   For over a year now, I have been working toward completing a book that tells the story of the journey I took with my best friend, Annette Christophe, as she fought brain cancer.  It has been an interesting process for me as I relived every moment, every joy and pain.  There were times I thought I couldn’t stand the emotional toll any longer and feared I would have to abandon the project, but my soul wouldn’t let me quit.  As a result, I got to take a new journey with her spirit that affected me in so many ways.   Today that book was published and made available to the public.  I thought I was prepared for the emotions of the book finally becoming reality, but I underestimated it all.The moment I found out the book was published early and was now in the public realm, I was elated!  In some ways it was like a huge weight was lifted and I was overwhelmingly joyful.  I wanted to shout from the mountain tops and share the moment with those closest to me!  Then things started to settle a bit, and I became extremely weepy and unable to control my tears.  I suddenly missed Annette terribly and at the same time felt her presence stronger than ever.  I feel like she is looking down right now, so proud of the accomplishment and endurance of what it took to bring our story to life.  I believe she is celebrating with me in spirit and I would swear I feel her hugging me.  When I stop and get quiet, it is almost more than I am able to stand or wrap my heart around.

How We Said Goodbye is, to date, my greatest creative accomplishment…for so many reasons.  But it’s more than that.  It is a journey that has changed my life once again.  It has opened me up completely again to Annette’s spirit and what she represents in my life.  It has been almost 17 years since she passed and the telling of our story felt long overdue…until I understood that God’s timing is perfect.  Even if I had tackled the writing of the book years ago, I would have been swallowed up in the intense emotions that accompanied its creation.   Instead, it happened when it was supposed to happen, and I am thankful for the fact it has finally come to fruition.

So I guess I want to say thank you to those of you who have been with me on this journey.  Some of you knew Annette and have known of our journey from the very beginning.  Some of you feel like you know Annette through knowing me and hearing me talk about her over the years.  Some of you never knew Annette and some of you have never met me….but ALL of you have been a part of this process in one way or another.  Whether through your support of me by simply reading this blog or by being someone in my literal world who has held my hand or my heart throughout the process in the past year…I would not be here without you and I am overwhelmed by your support.  Annette would love to see how she has brought so many people together…even those she never met.

It’s a beautiful and emotional day.  And today, I celebrate Annette’s spirit and thank God for the gift of her presence in the most amazing ways.  I will carry her with me always.

Blessings!

p.s.  You can read about the book by clicking on the “Books” tab at the top of the page.

“I’m Sorry.”

Posted on by
2

Today was one of those days when you just want to crawl into a hole and smack anyone who comes near you.  It started with a painful dentist appointment then continued into a very stressful day at work.  My frustration level reached a point where I found it hard to contain my urge to whine (even internally) about several things before the day was over.  I kept trying to see the positive but it just kept getting overshadowed by the negative.  It is unusual for me to fall into that kind of pit of self-pity, but I am human too.

shutterstock_143837407We all endure times when we feel like everything we touch is a problem or everyone that comes to us wants something.  They say confession is good for the soul so…here it goes.  Stick with me for a few moments, because I promise this is going somewhere.  Sometimes I get frustrated with people who take me or what I do for granted.  I get tired of people who slip into a place where they stop trying to do anything for themselves or figure things out on their own before asking me to solve their issues for them.  I get drained sometimes by people who think just because I’m nice or truly WANT to help them that it gives them license to continually load me up with stuff to do.  It hurts me when I work so hard to do things for others, professionally or personally, and after a while, it just becomes the status quo.  I don’t do things so that people will pat me on the back or say thank you, but once in a while it might be nice for someone to realize that it truly does take effort to pay attention to the needs of others and that once in a while, I need something too.  It hurts my feelings that people think it’s a compliment or a sign of gratitude if they don’t have something negative to say.  I realize it IS a good thing, but don’t think I feel happy because you didn’t tell me I was doing less than satisfactory work professionally or personally.  More than that, don’t think that your silence makes me think I’ve done anything right or good.  Sometimes I need to hear it too.  I’m not superhuman and I don’t know everything.  Just because I’m calm doesn’t mean I’m not at my breaking point.  Sometimes I’m calm so that you can feel more stable.  Sometimes I’m strong because you need me to be.   But sometimes I need you to stop what you’re doing for a few moments and see me.   Sometimes I need you to understand that just because I don’t complain doesn’t mean what I do is easy.

shutterstock_125574653Everything I just said is true.  I don’t often feel that way, and I certainly don’t normally say those things openly, but today I felt it was important.  A few days ago I posted about the gratitude meltdown I had a week ago…and today I somehow lost sight of it.  I let my circumstances get the best of me and crumbled a bit under the pressure of life.  I let my frustration show and even vented a little about certain things that were under my skin…and I am sorry.  Yes, I’m human, but I didn’t feel good about it when I was doing it and I certainly didn’t feel good afterward.  There was some measure of relief in saying some things out loud, but then I immediately felt guilty for doing so.  It isn’t wrong to feel what we feel in life; what’s important is how we respond to it.   I did not choose the best response – not outwardly or inwardly.  I gave up and was ready to quit everything.  What a shame.

So in this season of gratitude, I find myself feeling the need to say I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for forgetting how much I am loved by people who never say it.  I’m sorry for not appreciating the fact I have a job when so many people in this country are struggling to find work.  I’m sorry for whining (even internally) about being taken for granted when I should be honored that people feel comfortable to come to me.  I’m sorry for not speaking up and being honest about the fact I need things too sometimes.  I’m sorry for taking my frustrations and making them someone else’s fault.  I’m sorry for not stepping back and taking a breath and reconnecting with the spiritual things that ground me when I start to lose perspective.  I’m sorry for not being grateful for the countless blessings in my life.  I’m sorry for considering walking away from several things just because I feel like it’s the only way to finally be heard.  I’m sorry…you deserve better.

It’s ok to be human and to realize we all stumble sometimes.   We can have a day (or even a moment) of great clarity and gratitude and then have it stripped away by letting circumstances hijack our peace and contentment.  It happens…but we don’t have to stay there.  We have a choice.  We can choose to take a breath and recenter.  It doesn’t mean the feelings will always go away but what we tell ourselves during these times can be so powerful.  It is important to hold on to the truth when your feelings are swirling around you.  Talk to yourself – yes, out loud if you have to – and remind yourself of the truth…even if you don’t feel like it.  It can transform you.

shutterstock_154748687I am grateful.  I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve, and when I focus on that truth, it brings me to my knees.  And even when I feel as though I am leaking like a sieve, I have a spiritual Father who keeps pouring more and more blessings into my world.   It is not only enough, it is exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think…and I will continue to follow what I feel led to do, even if it means giving all to a world that is so willing to take.  It doesn’t matter what the rest of the world does because I’ve been given so much that I cannot help but give.  It is not up to me to decide who gets to take or the manner in which they take.  How I give is between me and God.  How it is taken is between others and God.  And the sooner that is burned into my heart, the less often I will have “one of those days.”

Blessings!

Gratitude Meltdown!

Posted on by
Reply

Last week I had a meltdown.  It wasn’t the type of meltdown that comes from too much stress or difficulties in life, but rather a meltdown of gratitude.  I know that sounds odd and maybe even foreign to some of you but let me explain.

BlessingLast Tuesday night, I was on my way home after an amazing seminary class filled with all kinds of discussion.  As I left, I found myself feeling extremely emotional and grateful for so many things in my life.  I am normally an overly thankful person who appreciates even the smallest things, but this was different.  As I thought about the path I have been on the last year or so, I couldn’t help but see how God has continued to work in even the smallest things in my life.   I was speaking with a friend of mine and told her, “I wish people could step into my soul for even a moment so they could have some kind of concept of how deeply my gratitude runs for them and how much I love them. “ 

There are things I believe I have been called to do in this life.  I have felt this way as long as I can remember, but there have been a few times here and there along the way when I believe God has made it abundantly clear what I needed to be doing.  Interestingly, the “calling” or purpose for my life has never changed.  It may have been manifested in different ways, but the underlying purpose has always been the same.   I have not always followed that calling, but I have also never been able to escape it.  When God reveals your true purpose to you, no matter what age that occurs, you are never the same.  You either live in fulfillment of your calling or you fight it.  Sometimes that decision changes from year to year, day to day, or even moment to moment.  The one thing you can no longer claim is ignorance.

As I reflected on my own calling and purpose last week, I was overwhelmed by a deep acceptance of what I know in my heart.  Then I was flooded with a sense of gratitude for situations and people who have helped me over the past few years more than they will ever be able to understand.  Most of these people have no clue what part they have played in the continual “gelling” of my purpose.  They have no concept of how God has used them to help guide the trajectory of my life.  I could write volumes on each one specifically but it would still only express a tiny fraction of what I feel in my heart for them. 1009759_10152000392095299_569841632_n Even in my professional life, God has used countless situations, and some very special people, to bring me to deeper realizations about myself and life in general.   I am blessed to be part of a company I believe in, owned by a man I deeply respect.  God used him to bring me to a place where I could grow not only professionally, but emotionally and spiritually as well.  I am not the most normal person on the planet, but he and many others in the office allow me to be true to the things I believe in most.  The freedom I have found in my work environment has given me the ability to follow where I am led both inside and outside the office.  It has strengthened my spirit beyond comprehension.  It has not only helped make me a much stronger and authentic individual, it has made me a more passionate and committed person of faith.  How many people can say that about their work environment, owner, boss or coworkers?  It is overwhelming.

My point is that we ALL have a purpose to fulfill.  We may try to ignore it or even fight it when it comes up but we can’t escape it.  Sometimes our calling is to something that seems entirely different than the job or circumstances in which we find ourselves.  That’s when we need to step back for a moment and consider that maybe we are exactly where we are supposed to be…for now.   Maybe God has us in places where our purpose is going to be fulfilled through unexpected means.  Maybe we feel called to ministry but find ourselves in secular professions.  Does that mean we have strayed from our true path?  Of course not!  Yes, sometimes we hide in our professions to try and avoid the fear of stepping out into the truth of who we are, but we must not forget that where we are is much less important than WHAT we are!  If you are called to love, then love!  It doesn’t matter if you work for a church or the government.  If you are called to teach, then teach!  It may be in the school system or within your own home.  If you are called to sing, then sing!  Do it in your car or the shower if nowhere else.  If you are called to minister, then minister!  You don’t have to be in a pulpit to share the truth of God’s love, grace and mercy with others.

shutterstock_157249559If you are truly called to do something, you will do it no matter what…even if no one applauds you or appreciates it.  You will do it no matter what it costs you in time, energy or finances.   You will do it because you cannot keep from doing it!  You will do it with humility.  You will do it with grace.  You will do it with compassion.  You will not demand the spotlight and you will not be angry with those who aren’t impressed with your passion.  You will simply live as you are called and let God take care of the rest.  It is my job to follow the truth of my calling and it is God’s job to take care of the results…even when it doesn’t seem like anyone notices.  When I live with that perspective, I live in a very different kind of peace.

I am so grateful for what this past year has brought and all the people in my life who have affected my path.  When I truly consider it all, I am overtaken with emotion and fall to my knees in earnest prayer for them all.  None of us can know what tomorrow holds, but we can decide to live today paying attention to just how blessed we really are.

And if that realization takes your breath away and you cannot stop the flow of tears…then let them come.  Maybe a “meltdown of gratitude” is exactly what you need to be able to see clearly again.

Blessings!