Tag Archives: clarity

Detours Are Not Without Purpose

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Lately it seems my life has been touched with an abundance of intense and challenging situations.  Some of them have been in my literal physical world and some have been in my internal world.  It has brought an unusually large amount of stress into almost every area of my life.  My professional life, though good, has been filled with so many various stresses that it has caused me to step back and rethink many things and adjustments I need to make on that path.  My physical life has had things flare up that I need to address.  Even the normal respite of church-life has brought a state of discontent that has made me step back and look at things with a new set of eyes.  Professionally, physically and spiritually it feels as if I am traveling on some sort of detour in almost every realm.

vectorstock_1197417Think for a moment about your day to day travels and of the actual, real-life traffic detours you have encountered along the road.  If you are like me, you get frustrated and sometimes angry over the fact that you have been re-routed or slowed down.  I am irritated and if I am in a hurry it is even worse.  It just feels like I am losing so much time and yet those detours are necessary in spite of it all.  If I were allowed to continue on a path that has been closed for construction, there would not only be a greater delay in my journey, but I might not even make it through at all.

For most, we usually struggle with detours whenever they appear, constantly questioning whether we should continue on or follow an alternate path.  Only you can decide what to do but whatever it is proceed cautiously.  You are in a dangerous area and your senses need to be heightened in order to make it back to the main path of your journey.  footprintsThe detours I have taken in my life have allowed me to see meaning in the roads less traveled.  Detours cause us to search deep within ourselves to find what will fill our spirits personally and professionally.  They cause us to question the reasons we will not walk away. They allow us the opportunity to see new scenery and explore new options.  Eventually the detours on my journey brought me back full circle to the place I began but they did so with a new knowledge of who I was and what I was willing to accept.  It’s both confusing and comforting to see the path behind us as we journey forward.  It is also amazing to understand there is a certain knowledge that can only come from what seems to be the wanderings of our lives.

I am thankful for every detour I have had.  If it wasn’t for the detours and construction zones of my life, I would not be who I am today.  I would not have the understanding or empathy I have today for those around me who are trudging through detours of their own.  It is interesting to reflect on the situations in our life and see how different they look from the other side.  Things often make so much more sense when looking back but how can you possibly make sense from detours if you don’t endure the potholes and continue until you come out on the other side?  If you stop and sit down in the middle you may never get out.  You may end up broken down on the side of the pathway, damaged and distracted to a point it becomes nearly impossible to find your way.

shutterstock_114318994So as I proceed cautiously down the path before me, my desire is to do so with an awareness that allows me to grow and move in the directions I need to in order to arrive at the destinations that will fulfill me most.  It is my prayer that we all find peace with the twists and turns of our respective journeys and that we still find wonder in the steps along the way.  There is a purpose even in our seeming wanderings.  J.R.R. Tolkien said it best: “Not all those who wander are lost.”   What one person perceives as wandering might actually be one of the most important aspects of another person’s journey.  Let us be careful to honor not only the meaning of our own detours but also the ones of those around us.  Let us hold the light for others as they travel through the construction zones of their lives for we never know when we will need someone to hold the light for us.

Blessings!

When The Answer Is “No”

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shutterstock_93898726Life is full of desires.  We are all faced with decisions regarding the things we want.  We pray for things – even noble things – and sometimes the answer is “yes” and we are thrilled at the result.  Sometimes the answer is “wait” and we struggle with the period of time between what we want and the fulfillment of that desire.  Waiting is never easy.  Then there are times the answer is “no” and we are disappointed and even discouraged.  “No” is an answer we rarely want to hear.

I recently experienced a huge “NO” in my life.  My husband and I always wanted to have children but from the beginning of our relationship we knew we would be unable to have them biologically.  We researched infertility treatments but believed it was not the path we were to pursue so it left us with adoption.  We researched and dabbled in the adoption world but realized we weren’t wired to deal with the many issues that came with it.  We tried to accept the fact that being full-time parents was not part of the perfect plan for our lives and thought we had moved on.  Over the past ten years or so, there have been several occasions where we thought we were going to be able to adopt a child through situations close to home but every one seemed to fall through for one reason or another.  It was devastating each time and we swore we would not open our hearts again.  shutterstock_46364836Then recently the subject again surfaced when we found there was a situation where a very young child would need a home.  For almost two weeks we prayed and struggled with what we were supposed to do.  It was a grueling and gut-wrenching time but we eventually had total clarity on the answer….and it was “No.”  It wasn’t just “no” to this situation but “no” to whether or not we are to be full-time parents.  It doesn’t mean we won’t take full advantage of the opportunities to still affect the lives of children as God weaves them in and out of our lives; It simply means we have finally accepted the path we are meant be on.   I would be lying if I told you we are entirely happy with the answer.  We have complete and TOTAL peace with the fact we know what the answer is.  We have not yet reached the place of total peace with the answer itself because it did not coincide with our desires, but that will come in time.

Having peace when the answer is “no” is not always easy.  In our humanity, we often question why.  We get confused.  We get discouraged and depressed.  We get angry.  We struggle to let go of whatever it was we desired because somehow we think we know what is better for us than the One who created us!  It isn’t wrong to want things and it isn’t wrong to pursue them with all your heart and energy.  But when you come to the place where you have clarity in the finality of an answer, the best reaction is to be thankful for that clarity, regardless of the answer.  “Yes” is sometimes just as difficult and scary to accept as “No.”  shutterstock_57821509The best place we can ever be with the decisions in our lives is to have CLARITY!  The problem most of us have is that when the clarity conflicts with what we want, we begin trying to find ways to make what we want fit the clarity.  We search for another angle or another facet that we can use to rationalize going in a direction opposite of the answer instead of accepting it.  As a result, we end up with only more confusion in our lives and then wonder why God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers when the reality is – we aren’t listening to the answers!

So for today, I am thankful.  I am thankful for clarity and yes, I am even thankful for the many times the answer has been “No.”  You see, when the answer is “no” to one thing, it simply means God has something even more amazing in store for us.  The pain of “no” heals in time and it is replaced with a joy and peace that truly does “pass all understanding.”  And when that time arrives, we can look back and see just how perfectly everything was worked out ultimately for our good.

Blessings!