Here we are on Valentine’s Day 2019, a day on which many people celebrate love, but what exactly does that mean? Is it a day where people truly step back and think about what love is, or is the focus on what they get or what kind of display of affection their significant others do for them? I remember working for a company that announced over the loudspeaker the names of everyone who had received a delivery during the previous 30 minutes. It went on all day long! Over the years it began to feel almost like a contest of how many times your name would be announced, as if it was some indicator of how much you were loved by others. What started as an easy way to organize deliveries for a people within a large company became a source of pain for so many people whose names weren’t called multiple times or maybe not called at all. My point is, what should we celebrate when we think of love? We should celebrate the traits of what it means to truly love others. 1 Corinthians 13 tell us the true nature of love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
We like to quote those verses or turn them into wall hangings, but so often they become exactly what they shouldn’t – decoration. The more we look at things, the easier it is to stop seeing them. It is easy to get caught up in the trap of saying the right things, but not living them. It’s easy to get lost in our own desires or how others aren’t acting or reacting like we think they should. Once we start down that road, it leads nowhere positive. Look at the beginning of that same passage of scripture:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
We like to jump to the section that so beautifully describes the nature of love, but skip over the first few verses that tell us we can be the most eloquent, gifted, generous person on the planet, but if we do not have love, then we are NOTHING! Let that sink in for a moment. (I’ll wait…) It’s quite a statement of what happens when we get so focused on ourselves and start thinking everyone else is wrong or are doing things wrong. We start expecting things and then get upset when we don’t get them. It is one of the many reasons why Valentine’s Day has become such a commercialized day of supposed romance. Society keeps trying to define for us what love looks like, and we just keep absorbing that view. We need to stop. We need to get back to truly loving each other, and we need to do it every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
In a time when we are more divided than ever in so many realms, it is good to remember what Jesus tells us in John 13:35, “By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love one for another.” We should look different, act different and BE different. That doesn’t seem so tough when you think about loving those who love you and treat you well, but when you consider loving the people who have mistreated you, judged or slandered you or a host of other things, it can be a daunting thing to undertake. It isn’t easy to love the unlovable or those who mistreat us, but I just keep thinking about how much Jesus loved us – even while we were (or are) unlovable. Philippians 2:5, it tells us, “Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.” Yeah, there is a LOT that could be said about that, but when it comes to love, we are to view love the way He viewed love. And yes, we are to love even those who mistreat us. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be mature and complete, as your heavenly Father is mature and complete.” (Matthew 5:43-48) Being mature or complete is a tall order, but if we are to follow in the steps of our Father, we have to be willing to set aside our pride and love genuinely.
So on this day of love, I will leave you with this: Let us go out into this world with love and kindness. Let us stop being so quick to judge each other and instead pray for each other and lift up those around us. Don’t try to pull the weeds in someone else’s garden, but rather cultivate what you want to grow in yours. Love in ways that far exceed your words, even if those around you do not do the same. Love in spite of your expectations. Love in the midst of pain. Love when you are on top of the world, or when it is crashing down around you. Love completely, not for what you get but for what you can give. We did nothing to deserve God’s incredible love and He did not reserve it for only the “worthy.” He loved every single one of us in spite of ourselves. Love because you have been loved. Bless because you have been blessed. Forgive because you have been forgiven. And remember just because God made it that simple; He never said it would be easy.
Blessings and love to you and yours!
A few years ago, I had an experience at a church association meeting that was so egregious that I was compelled to write about it. If you haven’t read that post, it’s worth the read. (
I once had a pastor tell me that the reason Eve was deceived instead of Adam was because the serpent knew that women were totally susceptible to believing a lie. Basically, that she was an easy mark, so-to-speak, which is why she was deceived and Adam was not. In so many words, he said that Satan figured he had a better chance with her because she was a woman, and the fact he was successful in deceiving her proved his point was true. This pastor went on to say that the reason women “as a class of humanity” are more susceptible to deception than men, is because it is part of our “innate female psyche.” By nature, Eve was not equipped to make the kind of decisions that the serpent presented to her, because she was not capable of weighing objective facts and coming to an appropriate decision. Although this pastor did state that there were exceptions to the fact that women make decisions based on a value system rather than on objective facts, he also stated these stereotypes are backed up by scripture AND scientific data (like the Meyers Briggs test). Whether you are a man or a woman, I imagine you are scratching your head right about now. Trust me, it didn’t sit well with me at the time either, but I later realized no amount of discussion or rebuttal could ever change the heart of that pastor. Only God can do that, and it is for God alone to handle.
The Bible tells us that in Christ, we are all the same (Galatians 3:28). Of course, we all fulfill different roles in life, and God calls us all to individual places of service for which He also equips us. Having different traits, backgrounds, or abilities should not divide us. God sees us the same, even though we are each unique in so many ways. Different is not worse. Different is not less. Different does not give us license, as people of faith, to look down on anyone or consider them to be less than we are. Yes, there are many things God tells us to refrain from or be mindful of, but He reveals to us in Proverbs 6:16-19 the seven things He actually hates:
What a contrast to what so many churches and leaders have become these days. Jesus doesn’t say to love your neighbors unless he/she is of a different race or religion. He doesn’t say to love your neighbor as long as he/she isn’t a homosexual or because he/she gossips, drinks or acts in other ways that seem contrary to God’s word. He doesn’t give us permission to not love anyone, because He didn’t exclude anyone from His love. He so deeply loved every single person, even those who hated and abused Him, that He was willing to die for them…for us. Yes, there are many behaviors and activities in which He doesn’t want us to engage, but I find it interesting that what God chose to list, through His inspired word, as things He truly hates are those behaviors that reveal our pride, arrogance, and ignorance. He is concerned with our hearts and our character. We are all sinners, and if we try to hide behind our church buildings or cover up our prejudiced opinions of others being beneath us, then we have not only failed in the two commandments that Jesus declared hold up every other directive, but we have displayed the very behaviors that God hates. After all, the only antidote for prejudice is humility.
Happy New Year’s Eve! Every new year brings with it the hope for positive changes and experiences ahead for us. We reflect on the past year and consider what didn’t go as we expected or how we didn’t do the things we originally planned. Maybe your year has been filled with more successes and joy than you even imagined, or maybe it was filled with changes that brought loss and pain to your heart. Either way, we still seem to have this innate sense of reflection when a new year is about to begin, but why? There is something so refreshing about newness in life. It is why so many people love the season of spring so much, there is new life blooming all around us. New life is exciting and reminds us that even when the ground is dark and cold, there is life beneath it just waiting to explode into view. I guess it’s much the same sensation as we approach a new year. Winter is raging, but it feels as though a newness of life is growing, waiting to burst forth into view. New life represents a replenishment of hope. It’s a burst of energy. It’s a new focus or new commitment. But mostly it is a new perspective or a new vision of what lies ahead.
Sometimes God replenishes us and refreshes us through the difficult processes of letting go. I recently took several months off from my official responsibilities at church, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I prayed about it over and over, as it is not my nature to take a break of any kind. I always scheduled vacations and business trips around being able to be in my place of service, so to know God was leading me to take a break from what I’ve felt I needed to do really rattled my brain! The key phrase to that last sentence is “what I’ve felt.” When we insist on operating under what we feel instead of what God is asking of us, it creates the most challenging disjoints. For one thing, we are called to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). If God wants us to walk by faith and not in what we can see with our own eyes, I’m certain He doesn’t want us walking by what we feel either! Our emotions can wreak havoc on the direction God is leading us in any situation, because we want to feel like what we are doing makes sense. I’ll speak for myself here: I don’t want to feel like what I’m doing is stupid or that others may see me as making decisions that appear to be rash or thoughtless. I don’t want to appear irresponsible or flaky. I don’t want to follow God’s leading only to have others judging me to be things I am not. Since it is the holiday season, it reminds me of how Joseph probably had many of those same thoughts when he realized that none of his friends or family were going to believe (or be privy to) all the details of his pregnant fiancee or why he didn’t “put her away.” He knew how people would look at him or talk about him, but he walked the path God laid out for him and let God take care of the details.
We really need to remember that each new year doesn’t just begin on January 1st. Every breath is the beginning of a new year. Every heartbeat is the beginning of what our lives will become. Living with that kind of refreshed perspective brings hope for a better future, but whether or not anything changes depends on how we view ourselves in comparison to our Savior. Do I really think I’m smarter than Him or have more resources? Do I really think I’m more enlightened or understand more? He knows and sees what I am unable to, and He has already planned ways around or through the maze of my life. I need to remember He is working things for my ultimate good. I need to stop trying to cut openings in the dead ends just because I think I’m smart enough to see a better way and strong enough to create it. I need to remember that I am replenished when I step back, breathe, and follow wherever He leads no matter how it appears to others. I need to remember the depth of my Father’s love for me, and that everything He does or allows is is bathed in that pure and perfect love.
If you are like me, we need to let go of what we think is best for us, or the worry and fear that comes with what others might think of us, and trust what our Father says to us in His word: “For I know the plans I have for you,”says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) His plans for our successes far exceed our ability to create our own, and His replenishment trumps our “resolutions.” Every. Single. Time.
Gifts. It’s always a big topic of every holiday season. We might be busy trying to buy things from a “wish list” of someone we know, or maybe we are thinking about what we ourselves might receive for Christmas. But here’s a question: Have you ever received an amazing gift you didn’t even know you wanted or would have ever imagined? Unexpected gifts often bring unexpected blessings, and yet when it comes to circumstances in our lives, we don’t seem to have that reaction.
We want things to be good, prosperous, and somewhat easy, but we certainly don’t want and wouldn’t choose for ourselves things like pain, grief, loss, betrayal or being dismissed. When we endure those things, it’s hard to see them as gifts. Over the past year, I have been given many of those so-called “gifts,” and if I am being honest, I wasn’t too happy about it. I have complained, been discouraged and even distraught at times. I’ve definitely had moments of feeling like God is a grinch and that He just seems to want to take away everything good from us. That being said, I have also learned that sometimes when we lose things or go through difficult times, it really does start to change our perspective. It enables us, if we allow God to work, to see things differently. It allows us to grow, and that is a gift. I would dare say it is one of His greatest gifts to us – presenting us with situations that challenge us and force us to re-examine our lives, faith and service to Him and to others in whatever place we find ourselves. Sometimes He allows things to happen that force us to reach out to others, and in doing so we often find incredible people and incredible perspective. When we open ourselves up to what God is doing rather than trying to explain it, we find love, compassion, care, and genuine concern. We find His word speaking to us through channels we wouldn’t have previously considered, and all of these things we find coming from a source that we don’t expect. When we stand back and truly see the goodness of God and His mercy in allowing difficult circumstances into our lives, we can become thankful for it. It’s truly difficult for us to embrace our challenges, disappointments and discouragements or the people or things that cause them, but they truly are for our good.
We have a good Father who loves us and wants the best for us always. He has an amazing plan for our lives that includes our places of service. He knows what’s coming, and while we are freaking out trying to see ahead, He is standing there patting us on the shoulder whispering, “I am the one who goes before you. I’ll be with you, so don’t be afraid or dismayed. I’ll never leave you or forsake you.” (Deut. 31:8) He knows that no matter what we are going through, that there is a PLAN! Let that sink in for a moment. I’ve been talking about “unexpected gifts” but they are only unexpected to us and not to God! He is not only aware of what is happening, but He is working through all of it to bring us to the most amazing places in this life. Remember, we see the messy threads underneath the tapestry that look jumbled and ugly, but when you flip it over, you see the beautiful image and artwork that God saw (and designed) all along.
So as we approach this season of celebration, I am thankful for unexpected gifts and unexpected paths. I am grateful that God doesn’t just know exactly what we need, but also knows the desires of our hearts that we ourselves haven’t even realized! I am thankful that He continually works in our lives so that we can change our perspective and come into alignment with HIS heart. When we trust that He is good and is always working ALL things for our good, then we begin to desire what He desires. We want what He wants instead of depending on our understanding of what is “good.” Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He can do that because when we delight in HIS will and HIS plans, then it’s easy to give us the desires of our hearts because they are the same as His.
We’ve all heard, seen, or even experienced being in the eye of a violent storm. We’ve watched hurricane coverage on the news and marveled at those broadcasts that occur while the “eye” is passing over. Things change drastically in the eye of the storm. Raging winds calm down, torrential rains stop, and the dark clouds break to reveal the warm light of the sun. It really is a beautiful pause, but the reality is that the storm is far from over.
I said earlier the eye of the storm is a “beautiful pause,” because that’s all it is – a pause. This temporary period of peace and calm is simply a chance to take a breath, gather yourself back together and think clearly for a little while. It’s a moment in time in which we are reminded that there IS life out there beyond the storm. It reminds us the sun is still shining and takes us to a place of hope that can strengthen our resolve in the face of knowing there is nothing we can do but endure the impending return of the storm. This eye is where I find myself right now. Standing in a place of peace, being reminded of how beautiful life can be, and creating an even deeper appreciation for every other time of calm when the storms weren’t raging. In this place of peace, it is easy to see clearly the path behind and to gain perspective on the path ahead, even though I cannot direct it.
Sometimes we need the perspective that only the storm can bring. We can become so complacent in our “ruts” in life, often assuming we will always be able to maintain the status quo. We float through our days, almost mindlessly at times, and when the storms roll in, we are suddenly more alert. We may be scared or disrupted by what is happening, but we are no longer able to be oblivious to what is going on around us. We may endure the shakeup in our routines that come when the storm hits. We may have seen it coming and tried to make preparations for riding it out, or it may have hit us without warning. We struggle and react from a survival instinct, and it isn’t easy, but then the eye of the storm moves overhead. It is then that we have that pocket of peace where we can take a deep breath and be reminded of what it feels like when there are no storms on the horizon. We can be refreshed and even strengthened in these beautiful moments of perspective.
If you don’t know which way to turn, don’t turn. Be steady and listen for God’s direction, but then be willing to do what He leads you to do, even when you know He is leading you into an area you’d rather not go. But if you are genuinely seeking God’s will for your life, don’t take any path off the table. We cannot seek His will or clarity in direction but then tell Him which paths we will not take. And if He is answering your prayer for clarity but you keep creating your own noise that is making it impossible to hear, then He may allow storms in to shake your priorities back into focus. He will bring you through the first half of the storm into the eye where everything falls into place, and you gain the perspective you need in order to not only survive the storm, but to come out with gratitude for the clarity. My prayer for you is the same as it is for me, that we breathe and press on with courage and total trust that all is already well, even though we can’t see it yet. No matter what the landscape looks like when the storm is over, I pray we can find joy and peace in having made it through, and have a renewed sense of strength and clarity in learning what is truly important and what is not.
The Cadence of My Soul 