Commitment Is Not a Dirty Word!

shutterstock_21116086Last weekend my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.  It was an amazing time for them to reminisce with friends and family but it was also amazing for us to witness such an event.  In our current society, commitment seems to have become a dirty word.  I’m not speaking of just in marriage but in every aspect of life.  Our culture has developed into one where if you don’t like something or it becomes difficult, quit.  If something doesn’t easily work for you, walk away from it.

Watching my parents together after 50 years of marriage was encouraging not because of the length of time, though it is impressive, but because of the fact they have honored their commitment to all they promised to do so many years ago.  Life is not always easy and honoring our commitments often means withstanding all kinds of storms.  In our relationships, we are faced with circumstances that stretch us to our limits or make us want to throw our hands up and run away.  shutterstock_114316561We are faced with health issues or taking care of someone we love even when it isn’t “pretty.”  If we do not have a strong commitment, we will be shaken and pulled apart from those we say we love.  With our material possessions, we make commitments but “cut and run” when things get tough.  For example, we purchase cars or homes but then don’t want to follow through with the contract we signed and make the payments.  Yes, I realize sometimes things happen that prevent us from doing so but I’m speaking about having a choice and choosing not to keep our word.  We get tired of dealing with the challenging portions or stress of our jobs so we quit and look for something better.

There is an honorable and beautiful thing about being committed to something or someone and being true to our word.  It makes us stronger in the storms when we know we will not let go or walk away no matter how life tries to knock us down.  When you secure that decision in your heart and mind, it causes you to take a different approach to the challenges that arise.  When you believe that walking away from something is not an option, you will find different and more creative ways to resolve the issues associated with it.  If you made your “commitment” in haste, then it is not secured within you and there will always be an option to walk away.  Even if it is unspoken, your subconscious still considers it.

It is so vitally important for our own well-being that we do not make commitments until we have “counted the cost” of what we are about to do.  I’m not saying your heart is not important in your commitments.  Your heart is what drives your passion!  What I am saying is that commitment is not a feeling.  shutterstock_142341487It is an action…a resolution made after consideration of what you are called to do or are called to be with.  It is a conscious, purposeful, rational choice made on something much deeper than emotion.  Make no mistake, there will most often be strong emotions tied to these decisions in our lives but do not confuse emotional responses to a decision with a process of emotional decision-making.

Life is full of challenges for all of us.  We endure a constant changing of our world and even of ourselves.  We learn.  We grow.  We succeed and we fail.  We are human which means we also make mistakes.  Sometimes we make commitments to things or people that are unhealthy for us.  When this occurs, it is important to realize there is still hope.  We do not have to be tied to unhealthy people or situations.  We have the freedom to step back and look our commitment and evaluate the circumstances and motives that were involved when we made it.  Making a poor decision does not mean you are condemned to a life of misery and sorrow.  We have the power and freedom to make a new one!  There will always be consequences to our “new” choice but we have a God who forgives our mistakes and can make beautiful art with the scars of those poor choices…if we will let Him.

shutterstock_128854240Commitments should never be taken lightly.  The ability to stay true to our word no matter what we face in life is what provides stability for us, our families, our friends and our world.  No, it isn’t always easy.  It isn’t always pretty but if we have entered into our commitments to each other and to our passions in life with great consideration and conviction, we can look back many years from now and see a path of amazing wonder.  We will look back and see beauty rising from every pile of ashes and love rising from every hurt.  A wide open and smooth path can be pleasing to the eye but it will never rival the beauty of a path that is adorned with rocks and trees, winding its way past rivers and oceans, over, under, around and through the most complicated and woven landscape of a life truly lived!

Are You Graduating or Are You Commencing?

shutterstock_125333273Today marks the beginning of June and a time when many schools will be holding their annual graduation/commencement ceremonies.  People get together to celebrate the accomplishments of their loved ones and bestow their well-wishes for the future.  We take time to reflect on the journey to this point and even if it was long and filled with set-backs, everything seems to fall away in the light of achievement.  Pictures flood social media sites because we want to share these times with our friends and family whether they are our personal events or those of the significant other people in our lives.

So what does it mean to graduate?  The word graduate is defined as “to divide into marked intervals, especially in use for measurement.”  Think about that for a moment.  Graduating is about recognizing and marking a specific period of time in our lives.  It could be applied to not only academics but jobs, relationships, recoveries, rehabilitations or any other aspect of life.  It is a time when we look back at where we have been and what we have come through, whether good or bad.  It is a time to recognize and celebrate our accomplishments.  It is a time we can feel proud of what we have done and no one thinks poorly of us for doing so.  It is about finishing a period of time on our journey no matter if that period has been something positive (like academics) or seemingly negative (like dealing with loss or recovery).  It is still a beautiful moment in our lives.  Regardless of where we have been, graduation allows us to “mark” our life’s timeline at the point something has ended. 

shutterstock_128054627Most people talk about times of graduation from school but have you ever looked at an actual printed graduation announcement?  Most of them still announce the event as a “commencement” ceremony.  Don’t miss the significance of this word or why it is used!  The word commence is defined as “to enter upon or have a beginning or start.”  Commencing is much different than graduating.  Graduating is about marking the end of a time period in our lives but commencing is about BEGINNING a new one.    Commencement is about recognizing the significance of the start of a new phase in life.  It signifies the beginning of our extended education or our professional path.  It represents the beginning of our commitment to our recovery.  It marks the start of our marriages or the arrival of our children. Commencing fills our lives with newness and freshness..  It is a re-birth of our path as well as our focus!  As we look forward and celebrate the opportunities ahead, it is a renewal of our hope for a better tomorrow and a gratitude for today.

shutterstock_134516501Here’s the beauty of both graduating and commencing:  both perspectives are beautiful and appropriate!  Life can sometimes become so difficult when we are in the midst of challenging circumstances.  We get worn out.  We fall down and feel like never getting back up.  Our energy and strength drains from us and it seems as though we will never get through our struggles but eventually we make reach the other side.  One of my favorite phrases used over and over in the bible is, “It came to pass.”  No matter the situation in which you find yourself, it will come to pass.  It is also important to recognize that sometimes we find ourselves in wonderful places from which we do not want to graduate or commence.  Sometimes life is rolling along smoothly and we have great joy and peace.  Naturally we do not want these periods of time to end.  We don’t want to mark the end of something that makes us feel good or brings us joy.  We don’t want to lose a loved one or have our own health fail.  We don’t want to lose a job we enjoy or have to move from a place we love.  We don’t want to think about “graduating” from something positive to something more difficult or painful.  We don’t want to consider “commencing” something new that might be more challenging for us. 

The reality is that time will continue to move on at a steady pace no matter how we may try to speed it up or slow it down.  Sometimes we soar through life and other times it drags us along behind it!  Time does not stop for us but thankfully we have markers to note significant points along our way.  We graduate.  We commence.  We pause to notice and commemorate chapters of our life.  It is a natural part of our journey to recognize our endings and beginnings and when we take time to reflect on where we have traveled over the many years, the markers of our lives bring color to the tapestry of our existence.

shutterstock_126623258So for all the academic graduates and “commencers” out there, I applaud your efforts in completing your degree!”  For the rest of you, always remember this:  Every day is a graduation and every moment is a commencement.  Each breath you take is a reminder of how different your life can be so take a deep breath.  Exhale the past and inhale the future.  There is always a reason to celebrate!

Blessings!

May We Never Forget!

shutterstock_13836178This is Memorial Day weekend.  It is a time we set aside as a nation to honor the memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice of their life in serving this great nation.  It is important to remember not to confuse Memorial Day with Veterans Day.  Memorial Day was established for the purpose of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans, living or dead.  All of our military and veterans deserve great respect for their sacrifices, for being willing to leave their homes and families to protect this nation so that the rest of us can enjoy the comforts of home and the liberties we so often take for granted.  Our veterans are deserving of our greatest respect and gratitude but there is a special remembrance for those who gave everything they had, including their very lives, for you and me.  It is their sacrifices that have provided freedom for the rest of us and yet we so often forget just how much being “free” cost them and their families.  We have moments of patriotism now and then where we are reminded of the costs and we find ourselves moved greatly by the reality of it all but then we go on with our lives and get wrapped up in the many things clamoring for our attention each day.  It isn’t that we aren’t grateful; we are just busy.

As I consider the things I have just mentioned, I cannot help but think of how similar it is with how we look at God most of the time.  The Almighty who created all that has ever been actually humbled Himself and gave up the splendor of Heaven to become the human man, Jesus.  He came and endured the most unspeakable tortures and death so that I didn’t have to!  You see, He was willing to leave his “home” and journey far away because it was necessary in order to secure freedom for those He loves.  He loved me enough to go into the greatest battlefield of all and fight the battle I was not trained for nor strong enough to fight.  When the enemy was raging, He pressed on.  shutterstock_44203843When He was beaten and abused, He remembered me.  When He was mocked and spit on, His heart was filled with a love for me that drove Him onward.  He never laid down the flag, no matter how difficult the fight became.  He kept going without regard for self because He was completely committed to His mission.  And when it came time to lay down His life, He did so willingly with a love that surpasses all others.  It is important to remember that no one took His life; He gave it up willingly.  He died so that we might live.  It is an amazing truth that should cause us to fall on our knees in gratitude for all He did…and yet, we are often too busy to remember.  Just as it is with our gratitude for the men and women who died serving in our place, we have moments where we are overwhelmed by the reality of what our Father has done for us but then the moments pass and we are back to our busy lives and concerned with our responsibilities or desires.  It isn’t that we aren’t grateful; we are just busy. 

It is important to remember.  It is important to take thought for those who have died so that we can be free. It is good to have a day set aside for honoring these brave and selfless people but we should do it every day.  They deserve our respect, gratitude and love each and every day.  And as we remember them, let us not overlook the greater picture of a God who left all for one simple reason:  He loved us more than anything else.  His love drove Him to secure our freedom, no matter what it cost Him personally.  We are that important to Him.  He values you and me that much!  The least we can do in response is to be grateful and live our lives in such a way that His ultimate sacrifice is never in vain. 

shutterstock_12213826So whether it is the sound of “Taps” or “Amazing Grace”….let us never forget.   

Blessings!

Settling For Passionless Work

shutterstock_30626650Work. We all have to do it in one realm or another. Whether it is inside or outside the home, we all face struggles sometimes with the things we do for a living. Every “job” has its ups, downs and cycles of frustration. It is the nature of work. Sometimes it is fulfilling and sometimes it can be draining. Regardless, we spend more time at work than we do anywhere else in our lives. It is important to always be willing to evaluate why we do what we do and the places we do it. This doesn’t just apply to our professional organizations but our personal, spiritual and familial ones as well.

It is interesting to consider the point that you can love what you do and not love the person or organization you do it for OR you can hate what you do and love the person or organization for which you toil. You can also have great passion for an organization or job, secular or spiritual, but that doesn’t guarantee it is what you are called to do. I am a firm believer that our true calling in life can be manifested in many ways over the course of our journey. I have fulfilled aspects of my own calling through different organizations and situations over the years. Sometimes we have to find ways to still honor our calling even when we are in situations where it seems unlikely it might fit. We do whatever is necessary in order to continue moving forward. Over the years, I have worked for people I admired greatly. I have worked for companies and organizations I loved. I have worked for people who are appreciative and I’ve worked for people who aren’t. I have worked for small organizations that were wonderful and some that weren’t. I have worked for a large organization and had pockets of amazing experiences with some amazing people. I have also had pockets of experiences that seemed to drain the life from me but, even in those times, there was something positive to be gleaned. One of the greatest blessings I gained in the seemingly negative times was to recognize the things I vowed to never do to the people that I worked with, for or who worked for me.shutterstock_73290586

Passion can drive us to do amazing things in our homes, jobs, churches and families if we will allow it. The struggle I sometimes face is caring deeply about a cause or organization and then see others trying to tear those things down. It wounds me. It literally hurts my heart to see other people half-heartedly approaching the things that mean so much to me or engaging in activities that are detrimental to the well-being and success of those things. When we find ourselves in these places, we cannot help but question where we are and what we are doing. It’s easy to look at others and be angry when they don’t share the same values or passions as you but it is much harder to not let it deter you from your efforts to make a difference. You can try your best to create something different, to engage people differently and to keep them energized, but you cannot force them. So if you are giving everything you have and you still find yourself faced with a negative or unsupportive environment, what do you do? To complicate matters further, if it’s not your calling, how do you handle it?

Sometimes it is so hard to know what God is working in our lives. When you feel your spirit crushed by the situations you’re in, no matter if it is intentional or not, it hurts. Sometimes the crushing can be a great clarifier but sometimes all it does is injure. Passion is a beautiful and necessary part of truly living but it doesn’t guarantee it will not cause us pain. Having passion about what you are called to do and having to wait for those doors to open is a difficult part of life but there is a reason you are where you are at this moment in time.

shutterstock_56559658

Just remember you may be placed in the midst of people who rarely, if ever, show any appreciation for you even if they do feel it. Some people (or even organizations) seem to think that “no news is good news” and, as a result, only speak up when things are wrong because they assume you somehow just inherently know you are valued or make a difference. Even though it may cause you pain and even create a sensation you are worthless at times, it is important to try and let it go. Holding on to a lack of appreciation will only cause you to become bitter, sad or resentful. Don’t let someone else’s inability to show gratitude keep you from expressing yours.

The passion I have for the organizations I am involved in runs deeper than anyone in those organizations can imagine. That fact often makes for a difficult and challenging life but the alternative does not appeal to me. The reality is if you go through life passionless and numb, it certainly does take the sting out. If you can say, “My job doesn’t matter” or “My church doesn’t matter” then it doesn’t. If you can say, “My family doesn’t matter,” then it doesn’t. There is a certain amount of anesthetic and pain relief that comes with that but it also dulls everything else in life. I struggle with just throwing my hands up and saying “I’m done” when I become drained. I believe life is about truth and passion. I can handle anything but a liar. And I can take anything but apathy.

shutterstock_38318179James described it best when he said, “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14). Life really is shorter than we like to think. As James says, it is like walking outside on a cold morning and seeing your breath as it appears for a few moments and then dissipates. Why waste the time we have been given each day by living passionless lives? We need to stop settling for the mundane and expect the extraordinary! If the people around us refuse to step out of their complacency, negativity or sense of entitlement, then we need to refuse to step out of our passion, optimism and sense of gratitude. And if there is no bridge that can be built between the two, then we need to have the strength and courage to step away and follow where we are led.

Blessings!

The Illusion of Comfort Zones

shutterstock_113716978Comfort zones – We all have them and we all like them!  We gravitate toward the things in life we are good at, the people we are like and the jobs we are used to.  We don’t like being uncomfortable and will tolerate a lot of elements we don’t like in order to live in the familiar.  Even when we are called to do or be something, it seems we still try and make it fit within our comfort zones.

I recently said the following to a friend of mine as I was relating where I have currently come to in my life:  “I share all these things to give you an idea of all the ways I’ve tried to avoid that call in my life to truly speak and minister to people in the way I have always known I was supposed to do.  I don’t regret the delay, as it has enriched my life with experiences and such that change the way I approach things now.  God knows what He is doing even when we try to only partially follow His perfect will for our lives and He somehow continues to bring us back to the undeniable truth of the plans He has for us.  NowIt is then we are faced with the decision, once again, to press forward or make an attempt to travel down some frontage road of His will, so close to the freeway but never quite on it.  I have no idea how the path is going to unfold before me but I do trust that He will open the doors that are supposed to open and guide me through them as long as my heart and mind are tuned to Him.  That is both a comforting and fearful thought.  Surrendering to His will for our day to day lives is a scary thing sometimes because in our humanity we cannot see the future or what He is going to take us through.  I do believe He has equipped us in the exact ways we need in order to perform whatever He has called us to do.”

It is so amazing to me how adept we are when it comes to rationalizing why we do not step out of our comfort zones.  We talk about risks.  We use some very reasonable arguments as to why it would just be better to do things that fit with our life’s purpose in a way that stays between the guardrails of our comfort zones.  We do not say we are scared; we say we are being rational.  We don’t say we are refusing to do the things to which we are called; we say we are being careful to only move and act when we are absolutely certain about such action.  After all, isn’t that the prudent thing to do?  Who acts without first considering the possible effects?  Yes, it all sounds so reasonable but it is the precise thing that keeps us living on the edge of our calling instead of WITHIN our calling. 

Comfort zones are the anesthesia to our fears and neutralizer of our passions.  They make us feel safe even if that safety is nothing more than a perception.  Comfort zones limit our ability to grow.  When we confine ourselves to only those things with which we are familiar or comfortable, we limit our view of the world and all the wonder within it.  As people of faith, we limit what God can do with us and through us because we aren’t willing to truly go where He leads.

shutterstock_115937239The reality is that life is not always comfortable.  We can choose to remain in our comfort zones and refuse to change or grow but here is an interesting truth about these “zones:”  The longer you refuse to step out of them, the more you will find them shrinking around you as others grow and change.  When that happens, it increasingly becomes a “discomfort” zone and you will either be forced to stretch yourself or accept a life of confinement.  Either way, you will never be free and you will never have true comfort. That kind of comfort comes only when we surrender to the truth of our calling.  

So my prayer for you is the same as it is for me.  I pray we are each given not only a clear vision of our purpose but also the courage and strength needed to carry it out.  Let us look forward past our fears and into the reality of who we have been called to be…and let us do it today!

Blessings!