A few years ago, I had an experience at a church association meeting that was so egregious that I was compelled to write about it. If you haven’t read that post, it’s worth the read. (The Ignorant Battle Cry of Christians). There is something about the ignorance of some people that continues to amaze me. A preacher I spoke with recently said the greatest thing I’d heard in a while, “In my experience I have found that ignorance coupled with arrogance, is a dangerous combination.” It was one of the most refreshing things I’d heard in a while, because he was right. There are so many churches out there dying because of that very destructive combination. It’s sad, but it’s also true.
I’ve been in church my entire life, and in those 52 years, I have seen and experienced a lot of things. There have been things I’ve disagreed with along the way, but nothing that has been a deal-breaker in my faith. It may be a personal choice of music or teaching styles, or it may be the preference of one program or another, but those struggles are going to happen no matter if you are in a church or some other kind of volunteer group. It’s just part of the journey. I even had a pastor who was so totally against women wearing pants to church (which was nothing but a preference), that I wore dresses the entire time I served in the church with him. If you know me at all, you know how much I HATE dresses! My point is that there are a lot of preferential things that can be worked around if you have a willing heart.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately and have wondered why so many people are running from older, conservative churches, even though some of them are teaching the truth of God’s word. Some observers would say it’s because people want a more entertaining experience, or a less convicting one. Some would suppose it’s because people want to have less accountability. Others would claim it’s because no one wants to be humble and submit to God’s way of thinking. Any or all of those could be true, but I believe the reason people are leaving is the product of ignorance coupled with arrogance. Honestly, so many churches have become better Pharisees than the Pharisees of Bible times. I can’t help but think of how Jesus viewed (and continually rebuked) the views and practices of the Pharisees. They were judgmental, arrogant and hypocritical. They were so caught up in their “righteousness,” that they totally missed who Jesus is and what He taught.
As a woman, I am at a disadvantage in the eyes of some churches and pastors. It doesn’t put me at a disadvantage with God, but there are still pastors and churches out there that see women as less than equal to men. The Bible shows over and over God does not hold that opinion of women, but rather He has honored and used women in all kinds of important roles over the course of time. I do believe that God made men and women differently and created us with certain skills and abilities that are fitting for the roles we often fill. We are different creatures, but that doesn’t make women less intelligent or valuable than our male counterparts. 
I once had a pastor tell me that the reason Eve was deceived instead of Adam was because the serpent knew that women were totally susceptible to believing a lie. Basically, that she was an easy mark, so-to-speak, which is why she was deceived and Adam was not. In so many words, he said that Satan figured he had a better chance with her because she was a woman, and the fact he was successful in deceiving her proved his point was true. This pastor went on to say that the reason women “as a class of humanity” are more susceptible to deception than men, is because it is part of our “innate female psyche.” By nature, Eve was not equipped to make the kind of decisions that the serpent presented to her, because she was not capable of weighing objective facts and coming to an appropriate decision. Although this pastor did state that there were exceptions to the fact that women make decisions based on a value system rather than on objective facts, he also stated these stereotypes are backed up by scripture AND scientific data (like the Meyers Briggs test). Whether you are a man or a woman, I imagine you are scratching your head right about now. Trust me, it didn’t sit well with me at the time either, but I later realized no amount of discussion or rebuttal could ever change the heart of that pastor. Only God can do that, and it is for God alone to handle.
My point in sharing this particular experience with you is to illustrate, in leaps and bounds, the principle I mentioned in the beginning of this post regarding ignorance and arrogance. Mankind has a way of taking God’s principles and perverting them. Churches love to pick and choose when a verse should be interpreted literally versus when its cultural significance needs to be taken into account (practices and customs that cause certain passages to be read differently today). As human beings, we are selfish by nature, which means we often develop our own opinions and then try to use God’s word to justify our perspectives. Let’s be honest, if you want to be racist, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist or bigoted, you can absolutely pull single verses out of context in the Bible to substantiate or even support your position. You can write paper after paper or present arguments in favor of your positions, but in the process, you leave out the very most important thing God commands us to do: Love.
The Bible tells us that in Christ, we are all the same (Galatians 3:28). Of course, we all fulfill different roles in life, and God calls us all to individual places of service for which He also equips us. Having different traits, backgrounds, or abilities should not divide us. God sees us the same, even though we are each unique in so many ways. Different is not worse. Different is not less. Different does not give us license, as people of faith, to look down on anyone or consider them to be less than we are. Yes, there are many things God tells us to refrain from or be mindful of, but He reveals to us in Proverbs 6:16-19 the seven things He actually hates:
These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.
Take another look at that list and tell me what you see. There is a pattern revealed of what bothers God so much that He actually “hates” it. It is the selfish, arrogant, mean-spirited, aggressive, deceitful nature of people. He commands us, as HIS representatives, to reflect His nature. He commands us to love as He loves. In Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus tells us exactly what He expects from us. The religious elite had been trying to debate Him or trip Him up on what He was teaching. One sect (the Sadducees) had already failed in their attempt, so another sect (the Pharisees) took a shot at it also.
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
What a contrast to what so many churches and leaders have become these days. Jesus doesn’t say to love your neighbors unless he/she is of a different race or religion. He doesn’t say to love your neighbor as long as he/she isn’t a homosexual or because he/she gossips, drinks or acts in other ways that seem contrary to God’s word. He doesn’t give us permission to not love anyone, because He didn’t exclude anyone from His love. He so deeply loved every single person, even those who hated and abused Him, that He was willing to die for them…for us. Yes, there are many behaviors and activities in which He doesn’t want us to engage, but I find it interesting that what God chose to list, through His inspired word, as things He truly hates are those behaviors that reveal our pride, arrogance, and ignorance. He is concerned with our hearts and our character. We are all sinners, and if we try to hide behind our church buildings or cover up our prejudiced opinions of others being beneath us, then we have not only failed in the two commandments that Jesus declared hold up every other directive, but we have displayed the very behaviors that God hates. After all, the only antidote for prejudice is humility.
So, I’ll close with the question I was pondering earlier: Why are so many people leaving Bible-teaching churches? Because it doesn’t matter how true your teaching is to God’s word if you aren’t willing to actually live it. There are amazing groups of people out there who are truly focused on serving God by loving, forgiving, caring and teaching as He did. Find them, join them and be open to what God is doing in your life. Love the unlovable, forgive freely, but be wary of those who refuse to see their ignorance because of their arrogance. Bitterness is sure to follow.
Blessings.
Happy New Year’s Eve! Every new year brings with it the hope for positive changes and experiences ahead for us. We reflect on the past year and consider what didn’t go as we expected or how we didn’t do the things we originally planned. Maybe your year has been filled with more successes and joy than you even imagined, or maybe it was filled with changes that brought loss and pain to your heart. Either way, we still seem to have this innate sense of reflection when a new year is about to begin, but why? There is something so refreshing about newness in life. It is why so many people love the season of spring so much, there is new life blooming all around us. New life is exciting and reminds us that even when the ground is dark and cold, there is life beneath it just waiting to explode into view. I guess it’s much the same sensation as we approach a new year. Winter is raging, but it feels as though a newness of life is growing, waiting to burst forth into view. New life represents a replenishment of hope. It’s a burst of energy. It’s a new focus or new commitment. But mostly it is a new perspective or a new vision of what lies ahead.
Sometimes God replenishes us and refreshes us through the difficult processes of letting go. I recently took several months off from my official responsibilities at church, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I prayed about it over and over, as it is not my nature to take a break of any kind. I always scheduled vacations and business trips around being able to be in my place of service, so to know God was leading me to take a break from what I’ve felt I needed to do really rattled my brain! The key phrase to that last sentence is “what I’ve felt.” When we insist on operating under what we feel instead of what God is asking of us, it creates the most challenging disjoints. For one thing, we are called to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). If God wants us to walk by faith and not in what we can see with our own eyes, I’m certain He doesn’t want us walking by what we feel either! Our emotions can wreak havoc on the direction God is leading us in any situation, because we want to feel like what we are doing makes sense. I’ll speak for myself here: I don’t want to feel like what I’m doing is stupid or that others may see me as making decisions that appear to be rash or thoughtless. I don’t want to appear irresponsible or flaky. I don’t want to follow God’s leading only to have others judging me to be things I am not. Since it is the holiday season, it reminds me of how Joseph probably had many of those same thoughts when he realized that none of his friends or family were going to believe (or be privy to) all the details of his pregnant fiancee or why he didn’t “put her away.” He knew how people would look at him or talk about him, but he walked the path God laid out for him and let God take care of the details.
We really need to remember that each new year doesn’t just begin on January 1st. Every breath is the beginning of a new year. Every heartbeat is the beginning of what our lives will become. Living with that kind of refreshed perspective brings hope for a better future, but whether or not anything changes depends on how we view ourselves in comparison to our Savior. Do I really think I’m smarter than Him or have more resources? Do I really think I’m more enlightened or understand more? He knows and sees what I am unable to, and He has already planned ways around or through the maze of my life. I need to remember He is working things for my ultimate good. I need to stop trying to cut openings in the dead ends just because I think I’m smart enough to see a better way and strong enough to create it. I need to remember that I am replenished when I step back, breathe, and follow wherever He leads no matter how it appears to others. I need to remember the depth of my Father’s love for me, and that everything He does or allows is is bathed in that pure and perfect love.
If you are like me, we need to let go of what we think is best for us, or the worry and fear that comes with what others might think of us, and trust what our Father says to us in His word: “For I know the plans I have for you,”says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) His plans for our successes far exceed our ability to create our own, and His replenishment trumps our “resolutions.” Every. Single. Time.
Gifts. It’s always a big topic of every holiday season. We might be busy trying to buy things from a “wish list” of someone we know, or maybe we are thinking about what we ourselves might receive for Christmas. But here’s a question: Have you ever received an amazing gift you didn’t even know you wanted or would have ever imagined? Unexpected gifts often bring unexpected blessings, and yet when it comes to circumstances in our lives, we don’t seem to have that reaction.
We want things to be good, prosperous, and somewhat easy, but we certainly don’t want and wouldn’t choose for ourselves things like pain, grief, loss, betrayal or being dismissed. When we endure those things, it’s hard to see them as gifts. Over the past year, I have been given many of those so-called “gifts,” and if I am being honest, I wasn’t too happy about it. I have complained, been discouraged and even distraught at times. I’ve definitely had moments of feeling like God is a grinch and that He just seems to want to take away everything good from us. That being said, I have also learned that sometimes when we lose things or go through difficult times, it really does start to change our perspective. It enables us, if we allow God to work, to see things differently. It allows us to grow, and that is a gift. I would dare say it is one of His greatest gifts to us – presenting us with situations that challenge us and force us to re-examine our lives, faith and service to Him and to others in whatever place we find ourselves. Sometimes He allows things to happen that force us to reach out to others, and in doing so we often find incredible people and incredible perspective. When we open ourselves up to what God is doing rather than trying to explain it, we find love, compassion, care, and genuine concern. We find His word speaking to us through channels we wouldn’t have previously considered, and all of these things we find coming from a source that we don’t expect. When we stand back and truly see the goodness of God and His mercy in allowing difficult circumstances into our lives, we can become thankful for it. It’s truly difficult for us to embrace our challenges, disappointments and discouragements or the people or things that cause them, but they truly are for our good.
We have a good Father who loves us and wants the best for us always. He has an amazing plan for our lives that includes our places of service. He knows what’s coming, and while we are freaking out trying to see ahead, He is standing there patting us on the shoulder whispering, “I am the one who goes before you. I’ll be with you, so don’t be afraid or dismayed. I’ll never leave you or forsake you.” (Deut. 31:8) He knows that no matter what we are going through, that there is a PLAN! Let that sink in for a moment. I’ve been talking about “unexpected gifts” but they are only unexpected to us and not to God! He is not only aware of what is happening, but He is working through all of it to bring us to the most amazing places in this life. Remember, we see the messy threads underneath the tapestry that look jumbled and ugly, but when you flip it over, you see the beautiful image and artwork that God saw (and designed) all along.
So as we approach this season of celebration, I am thankful for unexpected gifts and unexpected paths. I am grateful that God doesn’t just know exactly what we need, but also knows the desires of our hearts that we ourselves haven’t even realized! I am thankful that He continually works in our lives so that we can change our perspective and come into alignment with HIS heart. When we trust that He is good and is always working ALL things for our good, then we begin to desire what He desires. We want what He wants instead of depending on our understanding of what is “good.” Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He can do that because when we delight in HIS will and HIS plans, then it’s easy to give us the desires of our hearts because they are the same as His.
How many times have you found yourself overwhelmed and burned out? If you are like me, it’s probably been more than once! I say all the time that we get thrown into so many circumstances in life and even if there are a lot of good things (by our definition), the amount of activity just seems to keep increasing, and it totally wears us out. That’s where I find myself now, and I’m sure many of you can relate.
I was raised with a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. I have always tried to be the best at what I do, but more importantly I have tried to love and serve God and others in every way possible. I’ve been active in church all my life, worked successfully at my job, and had all kinds of other interests and activities. My point is that I am not one to sit on the sidelines, and it is important for me to feel like what I am doing makes a difference for others. That all sounds great, until I began to realize my positive drive becomes warped when my sense of responsibility gets skewed.
When leaders become so engrossed in themselves, or so detached from the people they are supposedly serving, there is chaos. That chaos may not always manifest in external ways, but internally it leaves people feeling alone and without support or direction. That’s when you see informal leaders appear, and often those people are not always operating with the best intentions; sometimes they are seeking control. I will add though, sometimes there are also very good people who are simply trying to step up and keep things going in the absence of appropriately placed leadership. When leaders don’t lead, it begins a vicious cycle that only stops when the he or she takes a hard look in the mirror and changes, or you get a new leader. Aside from one of those two things, “the people perish.” Do you know whose responsibility it is to lead? THE LEADER’S!
Sometimes it can get really discouraging when you are continually faced with people who are not honest. We’ve all been there, those times when you are either lied about or lied to. Sometimes it is intentional, and sometimes it happens out of exaggeration without thinking. Either way, it reveals something about a person’s true character when it happens, and if it is us doing the lying, it reveals the same about our character as well. Recently, I have been lied about and lied to. When it occurred, I was both discouraged and disturbed by it. Although I forgave the people involved and tried to understand why it might have happened, I lost a great amount of (if not all) respect for them. I was blessed to have had the lie revealed in these situations, but that doesn’t happen every time. Sometimes we just have to continue walking in integrity and trust that God will take care of the situation(s) in His time and in His way, even if we never know it happens or get to see the result.
The only way to battle dishonesty is with truth. If we try to battle against lies with reason or even anger, we will probably just end up frustrated with the results. That’s because lies breed other lies! When someone lies to or about you, and they are confronted, don’t be surprised if another lie is told to try and get out of the uncomfortable or awkward position in which that person finds themselves. Depending on the reason for the untruth in the first place (as mentioned above), that same force will often drive a second or third lie in order to cover it up or keep the charade going. The ONLY way to face dishonesty is to shine the light of truth on it. But before you start cheering, “Yeah, expose it,” we probably need to consider something else.
As people of faith, we know the guidelines of forgiveness. We know we are to love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us (Matt 5:43-48). On one occasion, Peter asked Jesus how often he needed to forgive, thinking seven times was plenty. Jesus responded with “seventy times seven” (Matt 18:21-22). That doesn’t mean 490 times and then stop, but rather that forgiveness is a process. We are human, and forgiveness does NOT come easy to us. It isn’t usually enough to forgive someone just once and walk away. In our hearts, we tend to hold grudges and hang onto hurt, pain, and betrayal. We may not outwardly give someone a cold shoulder or treat them poorly, but inside we often have to forgive them every time the hurt, anger or pain rears its head again. We need to forgive so that we can let it go. We need to sometimes forgive over and over internally until we reach that point. We read in Matt 18:23-35 about a servant who was forgiven of a huge debt he had no way of ever paying back. He begged for mercy and forgiveness and his master granted it and forgave his debt – lavishly! Almost immediately, that same guy went out to someone who owed him a very small amount and when that man begged for mercy and forgiveness, the guy not only didn’t forgive the debt, but he threw the man into prison. When the master found out, he went back to the servant and scolded him for his lack of mercy. As a result, he also rescinded the debt forgiveness and put him into prison himself. Jesus follows this parable with the statement, “This is how the Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” OUCH!
As I said earlier, “lies are complicated,” and spending our energy trying to figure out why someone is dishonest will rarely bring an answer we find satisfying. Lies or misrepresentations can quickly become a web in which most of us do not want to be stuck – no matter if you are the spider or the fly. Instead of focusing so much on the dishonesty we come across almost every day, wouldn’t it be better to focus on the truth? Turning from anger to forgiveness frees us to live abundantly. And if, perchance, you are struggling with a “justice gene” of your own, maybe it’s time to go back to that model prayer Jesus gave us. Maybe it’s time to remember how lavishly we have been forgiven, with no strings attached, by the One who has every right to demand justice, but instead, chooses love.
The Cadence of My Soul 